Cash-strapped kids preying on mum and dad

Cash-strapped adult children dreaming of home ownership are increasingly relying on the “bank of mum and dad”, leading to a concerning spike in ­financial elder abuse.

Cash-strapped adult children dreaming of home ownership are increasingly relying on the “bank of mum and dad”, leading to a concerning spike in ­financial elder abuse.

Experts say older parents are feeling pressured into ­helping their children get into the housing market, in what’s been called “inheritance ­impatience”.

Some parents are coerced into complying with their children’s wishes through withdrawal of access to grandchildren or forced into nursing homes.

The dangerous trend contributed to a 374 per cent increase in the demand for elder abuse support over the past three years, according to ­Relationships Australia NSW.

“The cost of housing is a factor in elder abuse. We joke about the ‘bank of mum and dad’, but the reality is that mum and dads into their old age can feel pressured into providing considerable financial support in terms of loans, mortgage assistance, housing and payment of bills,” RANSW mediator Fiona Tait said.

Elder abuse... some parents are coerced into complying with their children’s wishes

“A common reason older people approach our service is to request a mediation to ask adult children who are living in the parental home to move out, or to help older people and their families negotiate granny flat or cash for care arrangements that are in conflict.”

Ms Tait said other cases of elder abuse involved boomerang kids – adult children who return to live with their parents in times of crisis and are then unwilling to leave.

“In family breakdown, when partners separate and lack finances, returning to live in the parental home is often seen as an obvious option,” she said. “Jokingly referred to as the boomerang generation, there is a unspoken societal norm that this is acceptable and does not need to be negotiated.”

Seniors Rights Service president Margaret Duckett said the organisation had also seen an escalation in elder abuse cases.

“For some immigrant families, they might bring the mother out to basically babysit the children when the father dies. And then when the children are grown up and there is no use for the aged mother any longer, she becomes useless and takes up space,” she said.

The Bank of Mum and Dad is responsible for $16B of loans to help their adult children purchase housing.

Ms Duckett encouraged seniors to put any financial ­decisions in writing.

“Sometimes the parent’s money will be used to build a joint house with a granny flat and then over time, the relationship deteriorates and there is pressure put on the parents to move out so they can rent the flat and make money,” she said. “Money is handed over but nothing is put in writing.”

RANSW chief executive Elisabeth Shaw said elders were a demographic that were frequently “overlooked” for support measures.

“I think this is a life stage that as a society we don’t deal well with. People don’t want to think about it. It’s not a funding priority,” she said.

“We have been very grateful for a state government grant ... that will take us to the end of the financial year. But after that there is no state or federal opportunity.”