Sad taboo: Can We Talk Newcastle forum brings dark subject of mental health and suicide to the light

PEOPLE came forward and told their excruciatingly personal stories of mental ill-health at The Sunday Telegraph’s Can We Talk forum in Newcastle, in a bid to help themselves and others.

SHE had been cutting herself from the age of 11, but it was not until a decade later that Bronte Taylor realised she really needed help.

The same realisation came for Adam Schwartz only when his parents found him wandering around a dark neighbourhood park, crying, at the age of 15 — five years after he had told his mother: “My heart is black.”

Schwartz, now 25 and Taylor, 24, told their excruciatingly personal stories of mental ill-health at The Sunday Telegraph’s Can We Talk forum in Newcastle on Tuesday.

For both young people, the key to survival was finding the courage to tell their parents the truth about their feelings — and then trying several mental health professionals until they found one who ‘clicked’.

Alongside rugby league star siblings Tariq and Ruan Sims, mental health professionals and other young people, they addressed an auditorium of parents and teens at Wests City, all gathered to get practical advice on dealing with young people suffering mental ill-health and suicidal feelings.

Tariq Sims, a Newcastle Knights second-rower, told of how repeated injuries in his early 20s left him in deep despair, unable to get out of bed and wracked with guilt about “letting down the team”.

Tariq Sims and his sister Ruan were on the panel at the Can We Talk Newcastle forum, sharing their experiences. Picture: Peter Lorimer

He began withdrawing from his social life and friendships until a mate intervened and helped Sims find a counsellor. Sims also asked his mother to fly to Townsville, where he was playing for the North Queensland Cowboys, and although he still sees a counsellor regularly, he has become an ambassador for the NRL’s State of Mind program, telling his story to show other young people help-seeking is a sign of strength, not weakness.

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The NRL, which together with headspace and other mental health organisations is a partner in the Can We Talk forums, also took the Sims siblings and league legend Adam MacDougall on three school visits throughout the day.

Former Knights star Adam MacDougall, Newcastle Knights player Tariq Sims and his sister Ruan with San Clemente High School students at the Can We Talk school visit. Picture: Peter Lorimer

At San Clemente High School in Mayfield, Sims told an audience of 300 Year 10 students it was in their power to control potentially harmful influences like social media.

“Social media is fake. It’s not real. It’s somebody sitting on a keyboard trying to bring you down,” he said.

“If you’re on a high, stay on that high. Be yourself. It’s OK to be different. I’m different.

“The best I can advise you is delete (bullying remarks).

“If you can’t live without Facebook or Twitter, report them and they’ll have to deal with the hassle of getting their account back up and running.”

Adam Schwartz, whose book Mum, I Wish I was Dead details his desperate struggle to find medication or therapy that would help, eventually had electro-convulsive therapy at the age of 17 and began devoting himself to good health and exercise, eventually becoming a qualified personal trainer.

He urged parents to be honest with their teenagers about how difficult life can be.

“Ask them how their day was — and really listen,” he said.

“Then tell them how your day really was. How you got annoyed with someone at work, or the traffic was terrible and how that made you feel, as well as the good things that happened.

“Be open about how things actually make you feel and (your children) might be more willing to be open, too.”

NRL star Tariq Sims and his sister Ruan chat to Adam Schwartz and Bronte Taylor about mental health issues at the Newcastle Can We Talk Forum. Picture: Peter Lorimer

Sunday Telegraph editor Mick Carroll talks at the Newcastle forum. Picture: Peter Lorimer

Joel Murchie, who runs the NSW Police Mental Health Intervention Team, said parents should also talk directly to their children about the danger of drugs.

“We’ll often get a call from parents of a 16 or 17 year old child who has been to a party the night before and, probably under peer pressure, they have taken a drug, usually ecstasy,” Mr Murchie said.

“The parents call us because they wake up the next morning in a state of drug induced psychosis, climbing the walls.

“It can only take one use of a drug like ecstasy to give that child a lifelong, treatment-resistant mental illness.

“That’s the conversation we need to get out there in the classroom and around the dinner table.”

* Can We Talk forums are coming to Dubbo, Wagga and Lismore over the next fortnight. Go to dailytelegraph.com.au/canwetalk for details and to register. Attendance is free.