Break the teen suicide taboo: The terrible tragedy of young lives lost

FOR decades suicide has been off limits. But silence isn’t saving our kids, like Jayden Arnold, 16, who took his own life two weeks ago. It’s time to start talking and break this sad taboo for the sake of our children. Editorial: Facing up to a tough reality with youth suicide I Read Jayden Arnold’s tragic story

Interview with Jayden's parents

A YEAR Seven boy at one of Sydney’s elite boarding schools has committed suicide on school grounds, while a popular Year 10 boy from another school was found dead in his home after using social media.

A Year Nine girl at a third school also threatened to end her own life, before being persuaded not to do so.

Two weeks ago, 16-year-old Jayden Arnold took his own life.

Editorial: Facing up to a tough reality with youth suicide

Read Jayden’s tragic story

Are you OK, mate? These are the words which saved my life

Boarding school culture overhauled

He gave no hint anything was wrong as the family got ready for bed that night but the next morning Jayden’s family found his body.

These cases have gone unreported because educators and mental health experts fear sensational publicity could encourage copycats.

But The Sunday Telegraph ­believes the fact such young children are attempting suicide compels our society to talk about the problem.

Brett Arnold is struggling to deal with the death of his teenage son Jayden, who ended his life two weeks ago.

School-age suicides are widely discussed among pupils and teachers, but rarely shared with parents.

Alarming new figures show suicide is the leading non-medical cause of death in people aged 10 to 14.

The boarder’s death was “a terrible tragedy for the family and a terribly sad event for the (school) community,” a school spokeswoman said.

Police inspector Richard Puffett said a brief was being prepared for the coroner. “The death is not considered suspicious,” Insp Puffett said.

After the student was found on the morning of November 10, crisis management procedures were launched “to ensure the safety and welfare of the boys and families”.

“The boys have all been spoken to and made aware of what support is available,” the school spokeswoman said. “What we are focusing on now is ensuring the family know that they have the support of the (school), and the boys and the rest of the community families know there is support and we support one another.”

New figures compiled by the NSW Child Death Review Team show ­suicide is also a leading cause of death in teens aged 15 to 17. The figure of 19 child suicides in 2013 is the highest since 2005. Almost 75 per cent had “stress ­associated with education”, ­including academic failure and ­bullying.

The committee said research indicated young people affected by bullying were at increased risk of suicide, with social networking and cyber-bullying emerging as issues.

Young people affected by bullying were at increased risk of suicide, fugures show.

The deputy principal at one school that suffered a recent loss of a student to suicide said it had a critical incident team and crisis management counsellor for teachers and students.

“There is a fine balance between providing dignity and respect to the deceased young person while at the same time talking about the sanctity and value of life and for problems to be aired,” he said.

“The message we need to get across is that people can talk to each other without the stigma of mental illness, or break that sense of dobbing on someone if they are at risk.

“We need to change that and understand if you act on that (concern) you are caring for them.

“If you recognise your friend is in need, you need to tell someone to provide help. As the student’s father said in the eulogy, you need to tell your friend’s parents because it is not up to you to hold that burden.”

Many boarding schools now have psychologists and counsellors to handle problems such as homesickness. From 1999 to 2013, 248 young people died at their own hand in NSW.

Most of the 19 young people who committed suicide last year died at home and three were in public places.

One of the deceased was a “perpetrator of bullying”, while six victims were bullied at school and two bullied over the internet. “Very few of the young people told others of their ­intent,” the report said.

The majority of the 14 young people who had trouble at school or with education had multiple problems including academic failure, bullying, behavioural issues, peer problems, conflict and recent change of school.

“Just over half documented their intent to suicide,” the report said.

“Very few of the young people told others of their intent ahead of the event.”

If you or someone you know needs help, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.

ADVICE FOR YOUR KIDS

— Take control. Do not let yourself drift through life being buffeted by the whim of whatever breezes are blowing at the time. Set yourself realistic goals and go for them.

— Take care of your health. Put the right sorts of fuel into your body ... neither too much nor too little. Practice good hygiene. Get the right amount of sleep and the right amount of exercise.

— Take an optimistic view of life. Learn to recognise that bad things usually pass and the pain will generally lessen. Try not to overreact and try to shut down any negative thoughts.

— Take note of the positive and happy people around you and choose to spend time with them. Avoid those who are negative and cause you to feel unhappy.

— Focus on what you are good at. To be reminded of your strengths can be a very encouraging experience. Write out a list of those things you think you can do well and stick it on the mirror.

— Take the initiative. Do something about your grizzles. Go for a jog. Put on some great music and get into a place where you can process the day and think of ways to improve for tomorrow.

— Take expert advice. If sadness persists, see a doctor. There are things that can be done to help.

— Remember, bad times usually pass. Christmas eventually comes round again, and with it comes good cheer, delightfully congested tables and hum-along carols.

— Look after your ‘stage presentation’. Even if you don’t feel fantastic, act as if you do. It is amazing how often the act can turn to reality.

SOURCE: Dr Tim Hawkes, Headmaster, The King’s School