COLUMN: Getting to know ourselves... under the covers

WE’RE always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm or a better relationship.

WE'RE always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm or a better relationship.

But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things?

Thanks to the internet and Mr Google, (yes, many do look for help there) we are slowly realising that all those old taboos that were once associated with this very subject (let's call it DIY), are beginning to be seen as "just not the case" for many of us, especially women!

It's not something that's commonly discussed in sexual education either by parents, let alone in sex-ed classes.

But it certainly should be, because natural desires and curiosities usually begin way before we come sexually active.

Most of the problem lies with our own discomfort talking about it so how can we possibly pass on a positive and essential part of the sexual education process to others? Well we can't can we?

Another question we should be asking ourselves is this - how can we expect to be sexually satisfied by, and with a partner, if we don't even know our body ourselves?

And we often bring old and unfounded beliefs, that are somehow ingrained into us that it's a taboo thing to do, but never having understood why, without anything ever being discussed, by anyone, so we just continue to think it is "not right to do".

Well, many millions out there will tell you otherwise - it's normal, healthy, and extremely beneficial to us personally, and for our relationships.

Men especially find it essential to masturbate, as their body's biology (hormones) can cause great discomfort to them if they don't. So along with the amazing stress release it rewards them with, they instinctively know what their body needs - and men will understand what I'm talking about here.

But so should we as women. We'd do well to also do our body this wonderful and satisfying favour for all the reasons above and more.

Shyness about our body is normal at a younger age but as we mature we have a responsibility to ourselves, as individuals, to know how we "tick". That includes getting to know ourselves in a personal and intimate way.

So next time this thought crosses your mind and you feel too negative or too uncomfortable about acting on it, ask yourself this - "Why do I really feel this is taboo?"

Delve as deep as you need to on this because feeling free to explore and know our body is healthy and beneficial, both mentally and physically.

Originally published as COLUMN: Getting to know ourselves... under the covers