Anzac Day 2020: Veteran finds courage for driveway Dawn Service
A brave veteran afflicted by crippling PTSD and anxiety will for the first time in years muster the courage to step onto the streets to celebrate Anzac Day.
NSW
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A brave veteran who for years has been afflicted by crippling PTSD and anxiety will for the first time in years muster the courage to step onto the streets to celebrate Anzac Day.
When former army sergeant Justin Bird left the military in 2019, the scars of his time in Afghanistan still plagued him - flashbacks of horrors he desperately tried to forget.
Tormented by the trauma of his time in the top brass, the 46-year-old would struggle to find the energy to leave his bed and find refuge in addiction.
Anzac Day became a day he feared - overwhelmed by the crowds and racked with guilt, he felt he didn’t deserve to be commemorated.
The last time he celebrated was in 2018 - when he forced himself to march as feelings of dread and emptiness boiled beneath the surface.
“I didn’t want to leave the house... I just wanted to crawl in a hole. I felt really hollow. I remember marching with one of sons, he was so proud and I just remember I couldn’t wait to get out,” he said.
Captive to his feelings of depression, Bird felt he didn’t deserve to celebrate Anzac Day this year.
“With everything that’s been happening I just didn’t feel like I deserved to be a part of it. You know I just wanted to dissociate from military and Anzac Day so I could move on,” he said.
But this all changed when he stumbled across a Facebook page flooded with messages of support for veterans - a page which he describes as “life changing.”
Finding solace in realising he wasn’t alone, Bird connected with the community of war heroes on Aussies and Kiwis for ANZACS.
The groundswell of support on the page was so strong that it inspired him to join the group admin and spread the word about the driveway Dawn Services.
“There’s so many people with similar situations and I love looking at the old photos and I started to feel warm and fuzzy again,” he said.
This April 25 - for the first time in two years - he will muster the courage to celebrate the sacrifice him and many others have made by lighting a candle on his driveway at dawn.
“We’ll be doing the driveway service, it made me look forward to it. I don’t have to suffer the anxiety of going to a crowded service and it’s going to be my wife and kids.
“I get goosebumps just thinking about it. The kids are really excited. The grandparents might come and stand down and its going to be something that’s going to be very different but special at the same time.”
Residents across NSW are being encouraged to show their support for war heroes like Justin on Saturday by tuning into the 5.30am Dawn Service on television and lighting a candle at their driveway.
After suffering in silence for so long, Bird is also calling on people to reach out and check in on other veterans this Anzac Day.
“You could see a soldier marching and not realise they’re struggling. Just reach out - if you know someone whether you think they might be having an issue or not just ring up especially with this self-isolation and say ‘g’day, how are you going?”