2000 NSW men admit they’re a danger to their families, need help

Men across the state are putting up their hand and admitting they pose a danger to their partners and children, prompting the NSW government to boost funding for programs that help these men turn their lives around.

Almost 2000 men across NSW have admitted they are a danger to their partners and families, prompting the state government to come good on its promise to drastically boost the number of programs where they can get professional help.

The Minns Labor government has expanded access to Men’s Behaviour Change Programs to seven new locations across NSW, taking the number to 35.

The $11 million in annual funding means there are now programs in Nowra, Ulladulla, Foster, Gloucester, Lithgow, Blacktown and Maitland.

Locations are determined with consideration to need and geographical spread of the program.

One man who admitted he needed help and completed one of the existing programs in his home town told the Telegraph that “frustration and no time to think” has led him to aggressive behaviour he is ashamed of.

“It’s more verbal than physical but there was also pushing and shoving, a lot of yelling and swearing,” the man, who asked not to be identified, said.

The Minns government has expanded access to Men’s Behaviour Change Programs. Picture: Getty Images

“I guess it’s to get above the other voice. It comes from a combination of anger, fear and frustration.”

The man said he would erupt and find it impossible to calm himself and had the thought process well ‘now it’s started I might as well finish it off’.

“I do now regret it. Before I sort of thought I was right. I’m right and you’re wrong but now I’ve learnt to assess the situation a lot better than I used to. I’ve got some tools now to do that.”

The man said an example of the behaviour he is now ashamed of was when an argument with his wife ended when he “grabbed a bunch of plates and smashed them on the ground”.

“That to me was a pretty hard one that sticks out, not so much the violence but the meaning of that. I tried to make a statement. The intention was to say ‘you started this. I want to finish it off’. The intention was to intimidate.

“Now something like that I would never do again. I’m more thoughtful of what happens now than what I used to be.”

Minister for the Prevention of Domestic Violence Jodie Harrison says the programs are about taking accountability and breaking the cycle of violence by working with perpetrators to help them understand their behaviour is never acceptable. Picture: NCA Newswire

The man said he would urge others who have trouble controlling their anger to get help.

“Do something … it’s not going to go away by itself.”

Another man, Steven, joined Relationships Australia NSW’s Taking Responsibility Men’s Behaviour Change Program.

His children weren’t living with him because of safety concerns.

At first, he didn’t see the need for change and struggled to take accountability for his actions.

After meeting with the Taking Responsibility team, he began to see how the program could help his family and agreed to take part.

“I see how my partner’s face has changed and when she looks at me, I see love instead of fear,” he said.

“My children can now express themselves and I can help them with their big emotions instead of screaming at them and scaring them.

“I appreciate these relationships so much and I was so close to losing all of them.”

Referrals to the program can come from police, corrective services and the court system and also community health providers, housing services and community organisations.

Men can self refer to a program provider.

The $11 million in annual funding means there are now programs to help men in Nowra, Ulladulla, Foster, Gloucester, Lithgow, Blacktown and Maitland.

Minister for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Jodie Harrison told the

Telegraph “there’s no doubt working with perpetrators is a difficult conversation to have, but it is an important one”.

“These programs are about taking accountability, about breaking the cycle of violence by working with perpetrators to understand their behaviour is never acceptable.

“The fact is to build a safer NSW free from domestic and family violence, we need men who use violence to take responsibility for their actions and change their behaviour.”

NSW Women’s Safety Commissioner Dr Hannah Tonkin said addressing domestic and family violence is a priority and expanding the program will promote the safety of women and children by “holding men accountable for their violent and abusive behaviour and supporting them to change”.

Relationships Australia NSW CEO Elisabeth Shaw said the program works with men who use violence to take responsibility, guiding them to be accountable for their actions and stop abusive behaviours in their family relationships.

In December 2024 ANROWS, in partnership with the Melbourne Institute and Rodney Vlais, were engaged to undertake an evaluation of the Men’s Behaviour Change Programs. The results are due in December 2026.