‘Not sure that will ever get easier’: Marnus Labuschagne on the most heartbreaking thing about being a dad
Marnus Labuschagne has reached the pinnacle of world cricket, yet for the Aussie batsman, becoming a dad ranks as one of greatest achievements.
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They’ve reached the pinnacle of their sport, yet for these Queensland cricketers, becoming a dad is among their greatest achievements. The athletes share their parenting highs, lows, lessons and everything in between ahead of their first Father’s Day.
MARNUS LABUSCHAGNE, 29 – Hallie, 11 months old
Best and worst moments of being a dad? The best parts of being a dad are being around Hallie and watching her grow. I love seeing her change and starting to notice little quirks that reflect either Bek or me. I love it when we get to do things together as a family and hearing her laugh and smile. The biggest challenge I’ve found is leaving her for extended periods of time. I’m not sure that’ll ever get easier!
One thing you wish you knew before becoming a dad? What it feels like when you’re away from your children. I’m good when I am with the team, whether that’s on tour, or at a game, or training, but I certainly find I miss home a lot more now. That said, Bek and Hallie have been amazing at travelling over the past nine months, which have been busy. Fun fact: Hallie has been on more than 20 flights already.
Is being a father how you thought it would be? Absolutely. We both come from loving, supportive families and bringing Hallie into that environment has been wonderful.
Best dad hack? The times I’ve struggled the most with parenting or feeling super frustrated have always been when I’m trying to juggle too many things or I’m distracted. Just putting my phone down, stopping everything else I’m doing and giving Hallie my full attention makes such a huge difference in not only removing that frustration, but also giving Hallie the quality time we both need from each other. It’s simple and obvious, but usually the best hacks are.
Most frustrating thing about parenting? It’s not frustrating as such, but the challenging thing is adjusting our priorities and schedules to make time now that we have a little one in the house. We have always been very spontaneous and social, so there’s a lot more planning and co-ordinating that takes place these days.
What is something that surprised you? I’m a good sleeper usually but it didn’t take that long to adjust to the new normal when Hallie came along. Our routines have been pretty good, despite a fair bit of travel.
Any embarrassing dad moments? Having a pair of matching swimming togs with Hallie?
How do you juggle fatherhood and your sporting career? We’re very fortunate that Cricket Australia has embraced the practice of having families away on tour with the players. The recent Ashes trip meant that we were able to be together while the matches were played, and even enjoy some time off together as a family, as well as with the other players and their families. We had some beach time in Spain at the end of the tour, which was lots of fun. I’ve also found it quite grounding as well. It’s easy to get swept up in cricket 24/7 sometimes, so having Hallie and fatherhood in general to focus on has helped to create more balance.
What kind of dad did you think you were going to be, and what kind of dad are you actually? I have always admired the way both my parents and Bek’s parents have provided such a stable and consistently loving, affirming family environment and that’s something I highly value as well. I also strive to be a hands-on dad who’s very supportive and encouraging. Like everything, it’s a work in progress. I also want to be able to play plenty of games and get outside as a family – I always had a ball or something in my hand growing up, and as people know, I still love playing games, so I’ve found myself rolling a soft ball back and forth with Hallie since she could sit up. Well, maybe just before she could sit up. She’s got the hang of it nicely.
What is non-negotiable for you when it comes to parenting? Enjoying the time we have together and making the most of it.
What has having Hallie taught you? It has reinforced for me all over again the value of family and a new perspective on what is important at the end of the day. I feel like I’ve learnt a lot about my parents in the process and have a much deeper appreciation for all they did for me when I was growing up.
MATT RENSHAW, 27 – Charlotte, eight months old
Best and worst moments of being a dad? Best is when you get to wake them up. Charlotte is waving and smiling a lot at the moment and it’s a really nice feeling when you see them for the first time that day. The worst ones are the sleepless nights.
One thing you wish you knew before becoming a dad? Nothing really. I came in with a pretty open mind. I hadn’t had a lot of experience other than talking with some of the other dads in the group. I take in as much as I can from them and make it as enjoyable as possible. The travelling is not always easy, it is good and bad … long flights are challenging.
Is being a father how you thought it would be? I think so. More days at home than I had previously. Where once I might have done things in my free time by myself, now I value the time to go somewhere with Charlotte and Josie.
Best dad hack? Can’t say I’ve invented a new way to change a nappy, sorry. I’ve tried to test myself with how fast I can do it but I quickly learned that there are some things that shouldn’t be rushed.
Most frustrating thing about parenting? Probably when you think they have gone down for a sleep and you want to do your own things for a while, and they don’t settle like you expected, so those plans go out the window.
What is something that surprised you about fatherhood? The thing that surprised me was how much they grow in such a short period of time. I was away in India for six weeks and when I got back, she was a lot different and felt different when I picked her up again.
Any embarrassing dad moments? The usual “forgetting something you thought you had packed” trick. It’s a brief panic, and then a scramble to find somewhere to get a formula bottle, or wipes, or nappies.
How do you juggle fatherhood and your sporting career? Josie has been the glue for the family. We had Charlotte during the BBL, then it was trips to India, New Zealand and England for cricket, and it has been tough.
What kind of dad did you think you were going to be, and what kind of dad are you actually? We talk about it with the players who have kids sometimes – how do you “dad”? – and we seem to agree that you do it like your own personality a fair bit. Someone like Usman is pretty relaxed so he is like that as a dad; Jimmy Peirson likes his structure, so that is the way he goes. I’m pretty relaxed but if something goes wrong, you need to sort it out.
What have your kids taught you? I love seeing Charlotte being happy and excited and enjoying what is going on around. If there’s the chance to sit on the grass in the backyard and just chill out with Charlotte, then that is the best way to have an enjoyable time together.
MITCH SWEPSON, 29 – Beau, six months old
Best and worst moments of being a dad? The best things are being there for the birth of Beau, the first time he reached out and grabbed my finger, and hearing him laugh. Worst would be getting over the change to your sleep patterns but you just have to get on with that.
One thing you wish you knew before becoming a dad? How much it changes your life. Everything revolves around the bub now. It has completely changed how I imagined things would go; the little one becomes the priority. I probably wish I understood that a little better beforehand.
Is being a father how you thought it would be? Even better to be honest – absolutely loving it.
Best dad hack? The old “rocket ship”. As soon as it looks as if he might be getting ready to crack it, I give him the rocket ship. Gather him up and into the air and saves the day.
Most frustrating thing about parenting? There are a lot; knowing how to do the nitty gritty stuff can be challenging and tough, but that is also the rewarding side of it.
What is something that surprised you about fatherhood? I have been surprised by little things that I probably needed a bit more research about along the way: moving to solids, teething and things like that. Reminds me to keep studying and learning.
Any embarrassing dad moments? I learned quickly that a dark shirt isn’t the best to wear out when you are juggling a just-fed baby. Beau tended to be sick a bit in the early days so I wore at least one good vomit and had to spend the rest of the night wearing my “sick” shirt.
How do you juggle fatherhood and your sporting career? We’ve been very lucky with him when we have travelled so far. But as he grows, it will get harder. I am approaching that while I am at home, I want to soak that up and enjoy the moments and get in and do what’s needed. It will be very tough to be away from home but that’s for me to tackle and focus on the cricket side of things when I need to.
What kind of dad did you think you were going to be, and what kind of dad are you? I thought I might have been a bit of a grumpy dad, but that wasn’t the case. I have happily taken on the “fun” dad tag, but I know that won’t be permanent. Jess likes to give me Beau when he needs a bit of entertainment and I do enjoy making him laugh and having some fun, although I have learned very quickly that hyping him up too much before bed isn’t the result we want.
What is non-negotiable for you? We want to enjoy the experience and the fun times, and be ready to go with the flow.
What have your kids taught you? He’s taught me a lot about responsibility and pulling my weight. Just to be better at what I do for the family. Cricket is about improving and striving to do your best, so that’s a good starting point.
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Originally published as ‘Not sure that will ever get easier’: Marnus Labuschagne on the most heartbreaking thing about being a dad
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