Our verdict: The Australian government’s 2022 report card
It’s been an eventful few months of leadership for the Albanese government - with some good, some bad, and some surprising results. See how our federal leaders scored on their annual report card here.
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It has been an eventful seven months of leadership for the Albanese government— with some good, some bad, and some surprising results.
See how each minister —and the PM himself— scored on their annual report card.
ANTHONY ALBANESE, PRIME MINISTER
GRADE: B+
NOTES: Exceeded expectations early in the year by winning an election that saw him start well behind. Foreign policy has been a surprising strength for the very local-focused PM, but next year watch for trouble as IR and energy policies bite.
Would be well advised to stop hanging out with disruptive influences like the Greens in the playground.
PENNY WONG, FOREIGN MINISTER
GRADE: B+
NOTES: Frankly we did not expect much out of the foreign minister going into this government, given her hardball politics saw her dubbed one of the “mean girls” of parliament.
But her field trip to China counts as a win, particularly if it pays dividends in the form of trade deals and prisoner releases – and doesn’t compromise our sovereignty.
RICHARD MARLES, DEFENCE MINISTER
GRADE: B
NOTES: Most improved member of the class. We’ll be honest, there were a lot of concerns about his taking up Defence in the faculty lounge, particularly when he was caught out sharing his homework with China.
But his attitude has seriously improved, and we like what he’s doing not only to stay friendly with the US but also to make Japan feel welcome at their “AUKUS club” table in the cafeteria.
CHRIS BOWEN, INDUSTRY, ENERGY AND EMISSIONS REDUCTIONS MINISTER
GRADE: D
NOTES: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Perhaps the most disappointing pupil in the class, Bowen will need to head back to remedial maths, physics, and economics classes if he keeps repeating some of the things he says about emissions, renewables, and nuclear power.
Would be well advised to spend his summer break reading up on small modular reactors and what happened to Germany when they decided to place all their eggs in the renewables basket. Also needs to spend time apologising to his Fairfield constituents furious about ISIS brides being brought back to the country without warning.
JIM CHALMERS, TREASURER
GRADE: B
NOTES: Poor Chalmers gets an A for effort but has one of the toughest jobs going and knows more than anyone that the government’s numbers are tough and only going to get worse – particularly as the renewables transition bites.
Would do well to speak up more in class about this. Gets a B for a workmanlike but blah October Budget, and needs to put all his effort into really showing us his stuff next May.
MARK DREYFUS, ATTORNEY GENERAL
GRADE: C+
NOTES: One of the more robust players of schoolyard politics, Dreyfus needs to take care that cliques don’t get in the way of his work.
We were particularly concerned with his rushed work regarding the Administrative Appeals Tribunal, which he recently blew up in the science lab without warning leading to potentially millions of dollars in payouts to burned members.
TONY BURKE, EMPLOYMENT AND WORKPLACE RELATIONS
GRADE: C+
NOTES: Showed the class what he could do getting IR laws through, but did not impress many with his approach to doing it.
Would be good to be more collaborative next year.
TANYA PLIBERSEK, ENVIRONMENT
GRADE: B
NOTES: Who knew the environment minister was also a great performer? Plibersek knocked the class dead with her performance of her original composition, “It’s OK, I never wanted to be education minister anyway”, loosely based on a number from Frozen.
In class, she has been a steady performer but this could change if she keeps blocking vital resources projects – something that will hurt any future bid for school captain.
JASON CLARE, EDUCATION
GRADE: MARKED ABSENT
NOTES: During the election campaign, Clare was everywhere. Now, if he didn’t show up to Question Time, we’d ask the principal to ask for a welfare check.
Fixing schools should be a major priority given their 20 year decline under both major parties, but the guy in charge is nowhere to be seen. We hope he’s got something big in the works for next year.
MADELEINE KING, RESOURCES
GRADE: B+
NOTES: When the class clowns keep trying to turn the lights off in the classroom, this studious performer keeps their hand off the switch. Gets strong marks for helping to manage last winter’s power crisis, and understanding that coal is what has to keep us going for a good while yet – no matter what some of the goofier kids’ science projects claim.
CATHERINE KING, INFRASTRUCTURE
GRADE: B
NOTES: The government’s new infrastructure minister has been as much about what she’s not building as what she is. In office, she hasn’t been shy about blowing up projects funded by the Coalition during their time in office, including grants for community infrastructure in the regions which put more than a few noses out of joint.
But we cannot fault her graciousness, especially in stepping in for the PM to deliver The Daily Telegraph Bradfield Oration when Mr Albanese was struck down by a bout of Covid earlier this month.
LINDA BURNEY, INDIGENOUS AFFAIRS
GRADE: C+
NOTES: While we all appreciate scrubbing up for class, Burney needs to remember this is parliament and not fashions on the field.
Caused a ruckus when she was accused of going on a field trip “dripping in Gucci” (it wasn’t but the point was well made) and needs to show a LOT more work, particularly when she demands that the class vote “yes” for her voice to parliament without letting us know the details. Try harder!
MICHELLE ROWLAND, COMMUNICATIONS
GRADE: B+
NOTES: One of the most likeable and helpful stars of the class, she also has some of the toughest work dealing with the A/V kids down at ABC headquarters, the techy kids at the NBN, and pretty much everyone else concerned with keeping us connected and entertained.
Works well – mostly – with all of them, with humility and class. An example to her peers.
KATY GALLAGHER, FINANCE
GRADE: B
NOTES: Often disruptive, Gallagher was another member of the class called out for being a “mean girl”.
Showed herself to be smart when she could answer questions Albo couldn’t on the campaign trail.
JULIE COLLINS, SMALL BUSINESS
GRADE: D
NOTES: Needs to come see us after class after a series of disappointing performances in Question Time when her mates had to come to her rescue repeatedly over the question of just what was a small business.
Over the summer needs to work on preparing better for class.
MARK BUTLER, HEALTH
GRADE: B
NOTES: A steady player, Butler has made tough calls demonstrating he’s not going to be the boy who cried wolf over Covid, winding back old rules and regimes that just aren’t fit for purpose any more.
Frankly some members of the previous class could have done with his level of realism.
CLARE O’NEIL, HOME AFFAIRS AND CYBERSECURITY
GRADE: B
NOTES: O’Neil has a lot on her plate, and is always very helpfully reminding the class not to keep the same password for all their websites.
We would like to see her crack down harder on apps that might leave us vulnerable to Chinese spies.
ED HUSIC, INDUSTRY AND SCIENCE
GRADE: B-
NOTES: While we get that Husic is keen to join the pile-on against gas companies, as with a number of other members of the class some remedial economics would not go astray rather than simply calling their bosses “lippy”. Also tends to get distracted with side issues like the republic when he should be sticking to his knitting.
MURRAY WATT, AGRICULTURE
GRADE: B-
NOTES: Needs to be quicker off the mark, particularly in a crisis. Foot-in-Mouth disease could have been a major blow to Australia, and while we dodged a bullet it looked for a while like Watt was too slow off the mark getting crucial biosecurity measures off the ground.
BILL SHORTEN, DISABILITY
GRADE: B
NOTES: Has had a tough job dealing with his disappointment over his failed bid for school captain, but needs to do more to crack down on what hallway scuttlebutt has as some pretty serious rorting still going on within the NDIS.
AMANDA RISHWORTH, SOCIAL SERVICES
GRADE: B-
NOTES: Was one of the loudest voices against the Cashless Debit Card, which left a lot of people scratching their heads when people from communities who used the thing said no, they’d like to keep it thank you very much.
DON FARRELL, TRADE AND TOURISM AND SPECIAL MINISTER OF STATE
GRADE: B+
NOTES: Points for showing the class much needed resilience by exiting politics in 2014, starting a winery, and coming back again.
Doing a great job as ambassador for the class, promiting tourism abroad and protecting local farmers and vintners from foreign governments that think they can stop us labelling cheese “feta”.
Do you agree with the gradings? Let us know in the comments below.
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