She’s grateful strangers recognise the woman she is.

For “years” she’s tried to suppress her masculinity.

A cupboard full of loose jackets hid her broad shoulders growing up. Sport was never her thing.

A square peg in a round hole is how Kielan’s dad describes her pre transition.

Born a male and now a woman Kielan,25, faces a new beginning.

To get there she’s walked a path where doubt tripped her up; the inward feeling didn’t match the outward appearance.

But now affirmation flows in moments where her identity, that’s long lived in the deep recesses of her mind, can flourish in the open.

A recent encounter with an elderly Scottish man who recognised her outward femininity was one.

He struck up a conversation interspersed with feminine pronouns and subtle recognitions of her new identity.

It ended with “you’re a very pretty lady.”

The simple gesture was life-altering.

“He addressed me as a woman and used female pronouns constantly. I thought ‘this is f---ing heartbreakingly lovely’. It felt so lovely being seen,” Kielan, daughter of Western Victoria MP Andy Meddick, says.

Kielan, who grew up in Torquay, likens life before transition to be being suffocated.

“You are a person locked in this state of uncomfortable nature, and everyone dismisses it.

“It’s insufferable to live that way. It’s absolutely painful going through your life wanting the pressure removed.

“I knew I was this person underneath those big jackets. I was miserable living that way.”

TRANSGENDER Victoria’s Sally Goldner AM says research estimates about 300,000 Australians identify as transgender or gender diverse.

“We are people who happen to be trans and gender diverse. We are just trying to live our lives and we need to be authentic because trying to be someone we’re not is impossible.

“We can’t be ourselves (before transitioning). The sense of distress that grows because of that is huge and is a contributor to mental health issues.

“Yet when we can be ourselves and get support we have just as much chance of achieving our potential as the broader society.”

Laws that passed state parliament last year have made it easier for those like Kielan to be recognised for who they are.

Transgender and gender-diverse people are now allowed to change the sex on their birth certificate without having to undergo gender reassignment surgery.

More than 230 people, including Kielan, have applied to change their sex since the law change came in on May 1 this year.

That’s 100 more than did so in the previous three years combined, according to government data.

DURING the past four years “flashes” have offered Kielan stepping stones for her transition.

A conversation with her brother, Eden, who is also transgender, was the first step.

Being done up in eye shadow, eyeliner and lipstick, that became regular, was another.

“It would just be something that made me feel comfortable for a short period of time and then awkward because of the feeling of misalignment with the gender I’ve been told I was my entire life,” Kielan says.

When she moved to Melbourne, a bag of women’s clothing was left at her new home.

Putting on the oversized clothes was another way she moved along the path.

Experiment and retreat was Kielan’s mantra until a light-bulb moment to transition came at the gym early last year.

Her eyes drifted to a group of women. She knew she wanted to be like them.

OUTWARDLY reflections of her former life remain but inwardly, Kielan says, the transition is complete.

To get to this point there’s been honest conversations with doctors, courses of estrogen tables, regular blood tests to ensure testosterone isn’t climbing, and there may be some body altering surgery to come.

Depression and anxiety are realities too. Not because of where she is now but because of what she’s endured.

But as estrogen tablets slowly shape her into the woman she wants to be, rays of light shine.

She’s “over the moon” because her skin is softer and her hair more the way she likes.

She no longer requires an “enormous” amount of make up to be feminine.

The reaction to her transition has been overwhelmingly positive, she says.

ANDY Meddick describes his daughter as “perfect” and says she’s never been so settled and calm.

“Every time we talk on the phone now or do (something in public) there’s a calmness that’s never been there before.

“It’s a great relief as a parent when you see that your child has found themselves and their place in the world, and that they are comfortable with that.”
He says there’s still ground to be made in public perceptions of transgender people.

Post transition Kielan says she wants to live life filled with studying a second degree in film, listening to punk music and working on cars.

“I want to go to bars and cafes across Melbourne and experience the great things this city has to offer. I feel more myself now than I ever have.”