Joe Hildebrand tells you what you REALLY need to know about the 2017 Federal Budget

JOE Hildebrand reveals what the government is really trying to do with the Budget and whether it will work or not. (Spoilers ... if they call it a “levy” ... it’s probably a TAX!)

AN Australian Budget surplus is like the end of a rainbow. You keep moving towards it yet it remains always out of reach. Yet again we have a modest $7.4 billion surplus just in sight at the end of the estimates period but whether we ever reach the pot of gold is anybody’s guess.

The government also boasts it is reducing the rate at which debt is growing, which is what I call the nude jogger defence: “Your honour, he doesn’t do it as much as he used to.”

Surplus! Get your SURRPlus! Picture: Kym Smith

INFRASTRUCTURE

The government has gone gangbusters on building because suddenly it’s ALL good (debt, that is).

The big ticket items are $5.3bn for the Western Sydney Airport, which will service the seats Malcolm Turnbull must retain and gain if he is to have a hope of remaining in power, and the $8.4bn Brisbane to Melbourne inland rail link which will run through the regional seats under threat from One Nation.

There is also a $10bn slush fund for any other vulnerable seats — sorry, vital projects.

Say it all at once now — ALL GOOD (debt, of course).

HEALTH

Remember when Malcolm Turnbull was the touchy-feely friendly Liberal that all the lefties loved? No? Well neither does the electorate.

Remember this Mal? With his leather jacket and his Leftie talk? Nope, never happened ...

That’s why he’s rolling out $55.7bn to fully fund the National Disability Insurance Scheme paid for by a 0.5 per cent increase in the Medicare “IT’S NOT A TAX” levy. No one likes a tax hike but who could object to one for such a noble cause. And besides, IT’S NOT A TAX, it’s a levy.

EDUCATION

Every good Catholic knows that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, and if they didn’t before they certainly know it now. The government is giving an extra $18.6bn to schools but the one true church reckons it’s getting nailed to the cross on this one.

And while the government is giving to high schools, it’s taking away from universities, whose students will be asked to pay “a bit more”. Even an arts graduate knows that’s not good.

PENSIONERS

The government is restoring the pensioner concession card to anyone who lost it under the previous asset test changes. This is a very good idea. Not so long ago a NSW premier nearly lost his job after he tried to take away student bus passes.

It’s all in the budget papers — what do you need Joe to explain it to you for?

Why? Well governments are quietly skimming money from us all the time but when a government takes away a tangible object that you keep in your wallet it literally has its hand in your back pocket. And that always ends with a slap in the face.

BANKS

If the Budget was handed down by the Incredible Hulk it would simply say “Banks, SMASH”. And let’s face it, nobody ever lost a vote bashing the banks in Australia.

The government is desperate to neutralise Labor and One Nation’s crusade for a banking royal commission and so has come up with tough new penalties for misconduct and a $6.2bn bank “IT’S NOT A TAX” levy. The banks might even cop this relatively sweet because they know a kick in the nuts is better than a bullet in the head.

HOUSING

Labor is smashing the Coalition on negative gearing because house prices in Sydney and Melbourne are ridiculous but more voters own houses than are trying to buy one. So what does a government do?

You could almost hear the real estate agents salivating at this Budget.

This is the cute part: The Budget is axing travel expenses and some depreciation deductions for negatively geared properties RIGHT FROM THIS VERY DAY. It will probably have one-fifth of three-eighths of f***-all of an impact on house prices but it will allow the government it say it’s cracking down on negative gearing.

WELFARE

Sometimes the most surprising part of something disappearing is that it ever existed in the first place. Take this declaration for example: “We will no longer accept, as an excuse from repeat offenders, that the reason they could not meet their mutual obligation requirements was because they were drunk or drug-affected.”

Frankly, I have to admit I was not aware that this was ever an option. And as for the new drug tests? It’s fair to say that arts students have not done well out of this year’s Budget.

COMPANIES

Did you know that corporations are evil? Well neither did the government until Donald Trump got elected.

Still copping a belting over its planned corporate tax cuts, the Coalition has doubled down on its efforts to chase stray tax dollars from foreign multinationals. This is obviously a political no-brainer — picture an approval rating that looks like Don Bradman’s batting average.

And yes, this time, IT IS A TAX.

Originally published as Joe Hildebrand tells you what you REALLY need to know about the 2017 Federal Budget