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How to survive the dullness of Budget with a game of bingo

NUMBERS are hard and there are so many of them in the Budget. Not a fan? Budget Bingo can turn the dullest night into a ripsnorter.

Budget Bingo! It’s a way to make Canberra’s dullest night the slightest bit more entertaining. Maybe.
Budget Bingo! It’s a way to make Canberra’s dullest night the slightest bit more entertaining. Maybe.

NUMBERS are hard and there are so, so many of them in the Federal Budget.

Like Pauline Hanson outside a mosque, some people get mighty fired up about the government’s planned income and expenditure for the next 12 months.

For most of us though it’s a fairly dull affair.

There is a little bit of fun to be had, should you find yourself unable to escape the whole spectacle.

Whip up a Budget Bingo card with some of these fiscal possibilities and make the whole night mildly entertaining.

Here’s what to look out for:

Barnaby Joyce holding a piece of coal

— Julie Bishop’s boyfriend randomly being there

— Tony Abbott offering a ‘helpful’ critique of his own party

— A media case study family straight from central casting

Just look at this thrilling document, would you? Picture: AAP
Just look at this thrilling document, would you? Picture: AAP

— Scott Morrison says “Good debt and bad debt” but the definitions of both are hazy

— Mathias Cormann ducking out for a cheeky cigar

— Malcolm Turnbull and Morrison’s awkward photo opp looking at the Budget

— Protesters in the public gallery who’ve glued themselves to something

— Unsubtle signs of Coalition infighting

“The Budget deficit is thiiiiiis big.” Picture: Gary Ramage
“The Budget deficit is thiiiiiis big.” Picture: Gary Ramage

Bill Shorten overusing the phrase “fair dinkum” in post-Budget interviews

— Christopher Pyne’s enthusiastic head nods

— Turnbull says “Fairness, opportunity and security”

— Press Gallery journalists Tweeting about the ‘Budget Tree’ outside Parliament

— Pauline Hanson, who travels in a private plane with her face on it, talking about “battlers”

— Turnbull says “The Great Australian Dream”

— Scott Morrison describing a tax as a levy

— Social media having a go at Leigh Sales for being too hard or too soft on Morrison

— Shorten says “the Turnbull/Abbott government”

— Tanya Plibersek shooting daggers

Barnaby looking suitably impressed by a black rock, or coal as it’s also known. Picture: Gary Ramage
Barnaby looking suitably impressed by a black rock, or coal as it’s also known. Picture: Gary Ramage

— Sky News commentators yelling over each other

— Bob Katter inexplicably yelling instead of speaking at a normal volume

— Realising there’s probably nothing in the Budget for you.

Originally published as How to survive the dullness of Budget with a game of bingo

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Original URL: https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/national/federal-budget/how-to-survive-the-dullness-of-budget-with-a-game-of-bingo/news-story/799f201f22e99883541a9c8ae55e73b4