‘Hey Dad! Cop this’: Robert Hughes’ crappy entry into Goulburn Supermax prison

A WEEPING Robert Hughes rang his wife begging for help after fellow jail inmates took justice into their own hands — throwing faeces and urine at the Hey Dad! star.

A WEEPING Robert Hughes rang his wife begging for help after jail inmates took justice into their own hands after he was sent to jail — throwing faeces and urine at the Hey Dad! star, James Phelps reveals in his new book Australia’s Most Murderous Prison: Behind the Walls of Goulburn Jail, in stores on August 3.

A Crappy Reception

The famous fish was finally here.

‘Hey Dad!’ the inmate yelled. ‘Cop this, you kiddyfiddling f---.’

Smack! S--- slapped against Robert Hughes’s face, the faecal blow forcing his cowardly eyes from the concrete and into the crowd.

‘Keep walking, Hughes,’ screamed a Goulburn guard, the safety of the wing sheltering him from the flying s---. ‘Move!’

Hughes took another step.

Smash! A urine-filled milk carton crashed into his shoulder, stinking yellow liquid splattered his face.

‘Hey Dad!’ screamed another. ‘Why don’t you pissssssss off?’

Judge Peter Zahra predicted the “brazen” and “predatory” Hughes would be at “significant risk” of harm from other prisoners when he sentenced the star of the famous Australian sitcom Hey Dad! to a maximum of 10 years’ jail for indecently assaulting four victims, including a child co-star.

PRISON DIARIES:

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PART II: BROTHERS 4 LIFE BOSS BASSAM HAMZY AND ARMED ROBBER AT WAR IN PRISON

PART III: HOW CONTRACT KILLER SURVIVED HIT WHILE UNDER GUARD AT HOSPITAL

And he was right . . .

The smirk – the one Hughes wore throughout his trial, even when he was sentenced – was now gone. A carton containing faeces had slapped it from his face.

‘This is Goulburn, mate,’ said one of the 30 or so inmates crossing the concrete yard called “the Circle”, a section in the middle of the prison compound that connects all the jails together. ‘What did you expect?’

The inmate pushed Hughes in the back.

“You walk ahead,” he continued. “We’re going to hang back a bit.”

Hughes was extradited from London to face indecent assault charges in NSW.

Hughes looked to the end of the yard.

It’s only 40 metres. Not that far.

He then looked to his right where another 30 general population inmates eyeballed him from behind a wire yard fence.

Are they holding milk cartons?

He looked to his left – more inmates stood behind another fence, all tattoos, muscles and jail-yard tough.

Yep. They’re milk cartons, and they’re filled with s---.

Robert Hughes p---ed his pants. And then he was given Goulburn jail’s sh---iest-ever reception.

“They just unloaded,” recalled a Goulburn guard.

“P--- and poo – they covered him in it. It was his first day in Goulburn and he was brought out into the yard. I was standing on the Circle.

“Hughes was a protection inmate because of his crimes. He was never going to be put in, or out, with general population inmates because they would have killed him.

“But while he wasn’t going into a yard with them, he had to walk through the fenced-off corridor between two other yards to get to an area called the Cookhouse before being let into the activities yard.”

The 40-metre chain-gang march from one prison block to the next was usually uneventful. But an exception was made for Hughes that afternoon; his fame and his crime made him an irresistible substitute sewer.

“I’m not sure how they knew he was coming,” the officer continued.

“But they knew. And they had all armed themselves up with s--- and gone out to meet him. He was in the yellow yard, which is strict, strict protection.

“He was with all the rock spiders and paedophiles and was safe from them, but he wasn’t safe from anything that could be thrown over or through the fence.”

Robert Hughes with some of the other cast members on the set of Hey Dad!.

The Goulburn guards did not have time to protect Hughes. Or maybe they just didn’t want to.

“When Robert Hughes came out of that wing I would estimate 50 to 70 inmates all ran to the yard,” the officer said.

“We thought, Oh s---, it is on here. Before we knew it, he had s--- and p--- thrown on him from the time he walked into the yard to the time he walked out of the back of the yard.

“What they do is s--- and then p--- in the little milk containers they’re issued, and then they put their arms through the bars and fling it. You would be really surprised how far.

“Hughes was attacked from both sides – one was a protection yard and the other a general yard. They were all into him. The other inmates did their best to let him go first.”

Covered from head to toe in human waste, Hughes sat on top of a small grassy hill in the activities yard.

“This place is horrible. I thought I would be OK, but I can’t stay here. I can’t stay in Goulburn. This place is hell. You have to get me out.”

And he cried.

“He would have tried to clean himself up,” the officer said, “but it was impossible without having a shower. He spent the entire time sitting on the hill, sooking. He was a stinking mess.”

Then he was sent back to his cell; first to the Cookhouse and then back through the yard.

“It happened again on the way back,” the officer said.

“They had reloaded and come back for more.”

Robert Hughes with wife Robyn Gardiner, who supported him throughout his trial.

Hughes held the phone against his ear.

“I can’t do it,” he sobbed to his partner on the other end of the line.

“This place is horrible. I thought I would be OK, but I can’t stay here. I can’t stay in Goulburn. This place is hell. You have to get me out.”

A Goulburn officer overheard his conversation.

“He was crying like a baby,” the officer said.

“He was on the phone to his missus, the one that stood by him, and he was like, ‘I was covered in s--- and p--- today’. It was one of the funniest phone calls ever.

“He had just been issued his prison greens. He was a big girl through the reception process, sobbing the whole time, begging to go back to Silverwater (Correctional Centre).”

But Hughes was not transferred, his tearful pleas falling on deaf ears. And unfortunately for Hughes – not his victims – the prison punishment from his peers continued.

“He is the only inmate in Goulburn who wears a jacket in summer,” another Goulburn officer said. “He walks around when it’s 40C wearing a ski jacket.”

James Phelps’ new book is released this week.

Why?

“To stop his shirts being stained by p---,” the officer continued.

“Not just that, but spit. The inmates are more opportunistic now; they will throw whatever they have when they see him. If they have nothing, which is most often the case, then they will just spit.”

They also yell; an inmate recently split bellies with eight witty words.

“He was walking back from muster across the Circle in early February (2014), getting sent back into his wing,” revealed an officer.

“He was wearing this big f-----g jacket on a 40-degree day. All was quiet and nothing was going on.

“It was one of the funniest things I can remember in the last year . . . You have to picture it. This big Aboriginal bloke broke the silence by getting up against the fence and screaming, ‘I’m a celebrity . . . Get me out of here’.

“The whole yard fell over laughing because they had all been watching the reality show by the same name that had just started on TV.

“Robert just went red, kept on walking like it wasn’t meant for him.”

* If you liked this exclusive story, you’ll love James Phelps’ upcoming book Australia’s Most Murderous Prison: Behind the Walls of Goulburn Jail, in stores on August 3. Pre-orders available at Bookworld and iTunes