The concept of celebrating the festive season and gifting in schools is increasingly contentious

Schools across Australia, including some on the Gold Coast, are outlawing Secret Santa gift swapping – and the behaviour of adults is to blame. WHAT DO YOU THINK - VOTE IN OUR POLL

It’s no secret that Santa has become a byword for controversy in our schools.

From religious connotations now considered politically incorrect, to contentious gift exchanges between students, to excessively expensive presents for teachers, the silly season is fraught with social snares.

Last week, a Melbourne school hit the headlines for banning Secret Santa gift swaps – citing the potential to offend non-Christian students, but the Gold Coast is also not immune from these campus prohibitions.

A furious parent informed me just this weekend that her child, a primary student at a local private school, was told by a teacher gift swaps were not allowed because it was a sign of “privileged behaviour”. They were also told some students may be upset at being left out and not to exchange gifts on the school grounds, despite many classrooms organising officially sanctioned present swaps.

Author Rebecca Sparrow.

There may be some merit in that argument at least, given social media is full of stories from parents whose children were excluded from festive friendship gift swaps.

Teen educator and author Rebecca Sparrow recently reposted a parent’s letter from last year, describing how her daughter had been deliberately left out of a group gift-giving.

“This is the third email I’ve had this past fortnight about Secret Santa exclusion amongst friendship groups,” said Ms Sparrow.

“I feel very sad for your daughter that she went through this because being excluded is just one of the most awful feelings in the world. So I’m sorry this has happened.”

As a former female student, I concur with these sentiments.

But there are also a host of complaints from parents about the never-ending list of end-of-year expenses, including these very Kris Kringle exchanges.

Said one unhappy parental participant on Reddit: “Kids don’t have their own money to go shopping and buy a gift for their classmate. They solely rely on what their parents can do for them.

“Also, there’s no choice in this setting for the kid to participate or not. It’s different with adults or friend groups, they choose to give and get a gift. There is nothing that kids learn from doing Secret Santa, other than life is extremely unfair and capitalism rules all.”

Now, plenty of schools set price limits on these gift swaps but, honestly, sometimes it’s simply the time spent rather than the money that’s the issue.

Which brings me to the bane of every primary school parent’s existence … the teacher gift.

Or is that teachers’ gifts? Because there is the main classroom teacher, the teacher aide, the specialist teachers like music and sports, maybe a swim coach … the list is longer than my daughter’s actual Christmas list.

And let’s talk about the actual gifts being given … back in my primary school parent days, we would all chip in for a gift card and the dollar total was incredible, hundreds and hundreds, if not over a thousand.

Indeed, local personal finance expert and journalist Sarah Megginson recently ran an Instagram poll asking how much parents spent, on average, on their teacher’s gift – with almost half of respondents indicating they would spend up to $50 to $100.

Personal finance expert Sarah Megginson. Picture: Supplied.

While the NSW and Victorian Departments of Education have clear policies that any gift, benefit or hospitality valued over $50 must be reported by teachers, there is no such policy in Queensland.

Education Queensland has previously defended the practice of teachers receiving gifts, saying teachers were not to accept gifts or benefits that were intended to influence the performance of their duties.

However, a sample of some of the gifts declared by Queensland state school teachers last year reads more like a wedding registry: a robot vacuum cleaner, holidays, jewellery, $1500 yoga classes and Air Jordan sneakers.

Now, I’m not implying that teachers don’t deserve these gifts – in fact, they deserve all this and more – but parents should not feel obliged to deliver, especially in the midst of a cost of living crisis.

As for Secret Santa and classroom gift exchanges, we don’t need to make room for political ideologies or excuses, nor accusations of ‘privileged’ behaviour (FYI there are plenty of kids at private schools whose parents make enormous sacrifices for their education), but I do understand concerns about exclusion and the further pressure on parents.

Ugh, who knew the price of festive spirit was so steep?

Maybe we should secretly ask Santa to deliver a solution to this Christmas conundrum.

Originally published as The concept of celebrating the festive season and gifting in schools is increasingly contentious