Danielle Spencer on life without Russell Crowe, motherhood and her music and acting career

HAPPILY single, Danielle Spencer is embracing family, high fashion and new projects. The artist formerly known as Russell Crowe’s missus opens up in an exclusive interview.

********SUNDAY TELEGRAPH EXCLUSIVE******** Danielle Spencer on life with (and without) Russell Crowe. Sunday Style Magazine Cover Shoot for April 5, 2015 MUST CREDIT: Simon Lekias

EVEN Danielle Spencer is ready to laugh at the irony of the situation we find ourselves in.

When I first interviewed the singer 14 years ago, I was a music editor and she was known as the ‘ex-girlfriend’ of actor Russell Crowe.

And although we talked about her music – her album White Monkey had just been released – and her songwriting, it was impossible to avoid the inevitable Russell question.

She calmly accepted that.

We were in Canberra, where she was playing a gig as the support act for the band George, and she came across as much warmer and more self-deprecating than people were giving her credit for.

All these years later, I’m interviewing her as the ‘ex-wife’ of Crowe.

“It’s just funny. I guess that’s been my journey, hasn’t it?” she says, with a hearty laugh.

“It seems to be [that way for] Russell and me, too. In and out of each other’s lives for decades.”

Of course there’s far more to her than just that, but she understands the global interest – and she does so with relatively good humour.

Spencer met Crowe when they were co-starring in the 1990 Aussie film The Crossing.

They fell in love, but their careers were taking them in different directions, and they split up.

But when he won the 2001 Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role (for Gladiator), Spencer was by his side.

They married in April 2003 on his farm in Nana Glen, near Coffs Harbour, in a purpose-built chapel.

In October 2012, I broke the story they had separated.

As a journalist, I felt sad about it; they seemed like such a well-suited couple.

But the story wasn’t over.

Danielle Spencer opens up about her relationship with Russell Crowe and what direction her life is taking now. Picture: Simon Lekias

Last December, the entire clan showed up at the world premiere of the Australian war drama The Water Diviner, in Sydney – director/ star Crowe, of course, but also Spencer shepherding their sons, Charles, 11, and Tennyson, eight, both in black tie.

Spencer appeared to exude a newfound confidence, not to mention an updated sense of sophistication.

She looked stunning in her white-lace Pallas Couture dress.

“If it’s been made to measure, it certainly helps you feel well put together,” she says.

“I have a bit more fun with that sort of stuff these days; I enjoy getting the outfit together.

“In the past I didn’t think about it much; I’d just pull something out of the cupboard.”

Crowe and Spencer’s show of solidarity left observers wondering if the couple had reunited.

Crowe has since done little to curb speculation, telling the UK’s Sunday Times that he hasn’t ruled out a reconciliation.

Ending up in a place where we’re not friends, or we’re not able to get together for the kids and do things like the premiere or Christmas morning, or things that are very important for the kids, I think that would be a really sad place to end up

“Once I commit to something, I stick with it, so you never know… I’ve loved Danielle Spencer since 1989; that’s never going to change.”

Spencer, in her first major interview since the split, makes it clear a reconciliation isn’t on the cards: “Obviously, I want to be on the best of terms with Russell,” she says, choosing her words carefully.

“We have kids together, we’ve been friends since we’ve been teenagers.

“We’ve been on and off and in and out of each of other’s lives for a very long time.

“So, ending up in a place where we’re not friends, or we’re not able to get together for the kids and do things like the premiere or Christmas morning, or things that are very important for the kids, I think that would be a really sad place to end up.”

Spencer says a marriage break-up isn’t easy, no matter how famous you or your partner might be.

“As far as separation goes, it’s hard for anybody; there’s a lot of adjustments to make.

“I’m like any other person, except occasionally it’s written about – my personal experience – so that’s just a bit of an added pressure.”

The 45-year-old, who admits she is “very private on the whole”, agreed to be photographed in high fashion for Sunday Style because, like any separated woman moving forward with her life, she is embracing her glamorous side.

Danielle Spencer loves being a mother. Picture: Simon Lekias

While neither Spencer nor Crowe has ever divulged the main reason behind their separation, it’s clear the demands of the Oscar-winner’s international career were taking a toll on everyday family life.

“Look, I think it’s hard travelling with kids,” Spencer says, matter-of-factly.

“I think even when people have money and a bit of help, it’s still hard. [As their mother] you’re still the one taking the kids to another place, relocating them, getting their sleep cycles OK, putting them in a different school or a different daycare… and I, to be honest, found it…” Spencer trails off.

When Charles was nearing school age, Spencer made the decision to be based permanently in Sydney with her boys, while Crowe was travelling back and forth internationally for film projects.

“When [my older son] was getting towards five or so, I thought, ‘I’m going to have to plonk him down somewhere for a while.’ I was starting to feel like he maybe needed some stability and to be in one place,” she says.

“And to be making friends and consistently seeing those friends, that kind of thing.

“It got to a point where I thought, when they’re actually at school, it was better for them to have some continuity.”

Now Spencer lives with them as their full-time parent in Sydney’s eastern suburbs, with Crowe seeing them whenever he can.

Clearly, nothing is more important to her than her beloved boys.

“As a mother, you know they’re your reason for being once you’ve had them,” she says.

“They take up a lot of your time, which is good. They are both very different little people, but they’re both funny and bright.

Spencer said Russell Crowe will always be in her life. Picture: Simon Lekias

“They’re a lot of fun, I’m just really enjoying being a mother and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

“I wouldn’t swap either of them for anyone.”

Motherhood, she says, “changes you at a fundamental level”.

“It takes you away from focusing on yourself, which is a great thing,” she says.

“It shifts your emphasis off yourself and onto someone else, and that feels like a healthier place to be.”

Spencer’s own childhood was split between Australia and England, while her father, Don Spencer, worked as a high-profile children’s television presenter (and musician) in both countries.

She says growing up in such a musical family – she started learning the piano at age four – was truly special and she and her older brother, Dean, would spend hours jamming and making up songs.

When asked whether growing up with a father who was in the public eye had prepared her in even a small way for life with a famous husband, Spencer says she was definitely used to being in and around the entertainment industry with her family, then as a teenager in her own right.

But she points out, “I’ve known Russell from way before he was famous.”

The level of fame surrounding Crowe is something most of us will never understand – but his former spouse has seen it up close.

“Look, the biggest adjustment to make was just not having… finding it difficult to maintain any privacy,” Spencer says.

“That was the biggest thing. Because even though Dad was well-known, he wasn’t badgered in the way Russell can be badgered sometimes.

“It was adjusting to that level of intrusion.”

Despite separating about 15 years ago, Spencer’s own parents have worked hard to stay friends themselves, and Spencer remains incredibly close to both her dad and her mother, Julie – of whom, it must be said, she is the spitting image.

Julie eventually remarried and has been with her new husband, Gerard, for a decade.

“It’s been a great example for me, that is exactly what I would aspire to achieving myself. We do Christmases and family events all together.

Spencer is concentrating on her music and acting career. Picture: Simon Lekias

“If my mother’s away, my father and stepdad will get together and watch the footy or something – they’re really great friends,” Spencer says.

When asked whether she has moved on from Crowe, relationship-wise, Spencer says, “I am single.”

But it’s clear she has her creative mojo back.

She has signed on to two new agencies, Beebox Management (home to artists including Tina Arena) and specialist acting agency Atelier; she wants to try her hand at acting again.

After The Crossing, she made appearances in Home and Away and All Saints.

“It’s obviously not going to happen the moment I click my fingers,” she says.

“[But] it’s certainly returning to one of my first loves.

“I mean, I’ve always done music and acting in tandem.

“I didn’t think I was going to step away from acting as long as I have, it just kind of happened.

“It’s like suddenly I’ve woken up and gone, ‘Hang on, you were an actor as well.

“Let’s have a look at that and see what happens in that area.’ So yeah, that’s exciting.

“The thing with Australia is there’s never an abundance of work, so as I said, I’m going to be patient about it.

“We’ll see what happens.”

Spencer is also writing new songs for a potential album later in the year, but she is practical about juggling her creative demands with family life.

And, naturally, the interest in her as the ex-partner of a Hollywood star never wanes.

She is used to the paparazzi, who still hang outside the gates of her family home, hoping for a shot to sell here and overseas.

“Oh, look, you certainly get used to it,” she says.

“I don’t get angry or anything like that.”

Using a technique employed by her former husband (who once admitted he always wears the same clothes to reduce the value of any photos taken of him by photographers), Spencer is often snapped wearing dark workout gear, carrying a parasol to protect herself from the sun.

Spencer graces the cover of Sunday Style this week. For more stories and features, download the Sunday Style app

“Sometimes if you’re walking out the door in your tracksuit, you just kind of think, ‘That honestly can’t be an interesting shot – another picture of me in my black yoga pants, with my cap on and my parasol,’” she says.

“When I’m walking up [Sydney’s] Rose Bay promenade, the sun belts right in your face, even if you have a hat on, so I’ve employed the parasol – which is handy, too, if you want to block a photographer,” Spencer adds, with a raucous laugh.

Those who saw the dynamic up close between Crowe and Spencer would know she was the warm, steady hand of the marriage.

In many ways she appeared to be the grounding force for the Gladiator.

These days, Spencer is stepping out confidently on her own, something that is no easy feat given the spotlight on her high-profile family.

“Like anyone, we all have our up and down days, but on the whole I’m in a really good place,” she says.

“I think, you know, hopefully it’s onward and upward.”

Follow Christine Sams on Twitter @samscsams