Why men are noticing comedian Gretel Killeen now more than ever
At an age when many people start scaling back their career, comedian Gretel Killeen is launching herself into new projects, silver hair in tow.
Stellar
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It’s difficult to pin Gretel Killeen down. One minute she’s on the television, the next she’s on the stage. Oh, and here she is with a new book out, and what about these paintings? Yes, they’re hers, too.
Never one to let the grass grow under her, the former Big Brother host appears to be adding strings to her bow at a stage in life when others often start to cull theirs. She laughs at the observation, and points out that it’s probably because she’s curious.
“As we grow up, it’s about working out what your thing is,” Killeen tells Stellar. “I didn’t know what my thing was. I’ve loved working in so many different areas, but for my whole life I feel like I’ve been researching.”
Indeed, at 58, with her hair grown out in its natural silver, Killeen says it’s as if she’s only getting started. “I feel like I’ve spent years walking the course so I can finally understand the game,” she says.
“I’ve now reached a point where I thought it was time to join the whole thing together. I’ve chosen the areas I want to dig deeper into in the next decades of my life.”
To that end, she now considers her career to be like a three-legged stool. There’s the “talking”, which involves her TV commentary, presenting and comedy; the “painting”, a new talent she honed during lockdown; and the “writing”, which she’s celebrating with her humorous new novel.
By spending her life exploring a variety of jobs, Killeen has also collected a deep understanding of people and their idiosyncrasies along the way. So while the book traverses the tumultuous terrain of mother-daughter love, it also presents a colourful casting call of characters, including one she dubs “an amateur bikini-line waxer”.
The marriage of her own daughter prompted the scene for the book, which is aptly titled My Daughter’s Wedding. But it was her own role – as both a mother and a daughter – that made Killeen examine these complex relationships.
As she says, “We’re so drawn to our mothers yet so many are angry with their mums. I wanted to write a book that helped us all understand [that] because there are things our daughters are going to blame us for, and their daughters are going to blame them for. It’s really a pass-the-parcel. I like writing books that answer a question.”
Killeen’s trademark is her deftness with words, whether it’s asking a pointed question of a reality-show contestant, commanding a stage or penning one of the 30 books she’s produced during her career. Surely she must have a preferred form of delivery?
“Oh, it’s much less painful and much more fun being on stage,” she tells Stellar. “Sitting down and writing is my least enjoyable pastime just because of the sitting-down element.
But while it’s the most painstaking because it has to be so precise, it’s beautiful and allows me to delve more deeply into things.”
If life experience has provided Killeen with a charming mix of playfulness and wisdom, it’s also made her diplomatic.
She won’t, for instance, be drawn when asked what she makes of the new incarnation of Big Brother, which returned to our screens last year, even though it’s been 20 years since she helmed the first season of the Australian series in 2001, and continued to until 2007.
That said, she enjoys running into former contestants from the show, and season three runner-up Chrissie Swan and winner Reggie Bird were both quick to pick Killeen’s voice when she appeared on The Masked Singer Australia as the octopus in 2019.
“You have a camaraderie with people you share things with and, of course, through Big Brother there’s a bond,” she tells Stellar. “Many of those who worked on [that show] are still great mates of mine – any experience like that when you’re in the trenches together is a connector.”
Perhaps it’s her curiosity, or maybe her relatability, but the mother of two grown-up children enjoys friendships with people of all ages.
“My generation is really blessed that a lot of younger people see no issue with being friends even when there are decades of difference in age. I have friends in their 30s and others in their 70s and I love that in our age and in our time, that broad experience is open to us.”
While the pandemic has played havoc with people’s lives, Killeen is grateful for the new-found calm that’s come through decluttering her life. She says she spent time during lockdown culling thoughts, sorting friends and honing her values.
She also began painting and, as well as enjoying the physical, intellectual and emotional challenge of the art form, she’s enjoyed seeing that it has as much impact on others as words.
She says she emerged from last year with fewer worries, a sharper view on fame – “it can be very uncomfortable” – and a deep appreciation of her own imagination. In fact, she’s realised the inherent contentment that can come with quite liking yourself.
“Self-esteem and confidence are fabulous accessories in life,” she says enthusiastically. “As you get older, you’ve been in a few battles so you know who you are. Hopefully you like yourself so you have an ally instead of a foe.”
Killeen adds that she’s also ready to cast off unhelpful notions of perfection and believes there is an increased yearning for authenticity and truth. “We’re beholden to this world that encourages us to believe it’s a competition and it’s a really unsatisfying, anxiety-ridden way to live,” she explains.
“You realise as you get older how flawed many of those concepts were. Who made them? Why do we try to live up to them when our experience of that doesn’t make us happy?”
Unfortunately, not everyone is thrilled with Killeen’s choice to ignore some societal expectations, particularly when it comes to women’s looks. While she loves her natural silver hair – and the time she’s won back by not having to dye it – others are not so keen.
“I’ve never had more compliments from men in my life since allowing my hair to go this colour,” she says. However, some women aren’t convinced. Following a recent television appearance, she received a less-than-favourable comment from a stranger.
“I got a message from a woman who said she was sorry but my long grey locks were so ugly that she had to turn the television off whenever I was on.”
She laughs, unbothered by any detractors. “This is me,” she says. “And I’m increasingly comfortable with who I am.”
My Daughter’s Wedding by Gretel Killeen (Hachette, $32.99) is out February 23.
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