What AFL star Rory Sloane learnt about his wife after son’s death

AFL star Rory Sloane celebrates his AFLW-playing sister and calls his wife “the most courageous person” after the stillbirth of their baby son.

As one of the AFL’s most popular and respected players, Rory Sloane is used to being asked the tough questions by journalists about his team’s performance on the field.

But what about the ones that focus on the Adelaide Crows captain’s gender, his family commitments and every other aspect of his life off the field – as routinely happens to his sister, AFLW player Shae Sloane?

Stellar wanted to find out, so we sat down with the father of three – who is married to the Seven Network’s SA Weekender presenter Belinda Sloane – for an illuminating and thoughtful discussion about gender expectations and the positive effect that female footy players are having on his sport.

“The message should be simple: treat everyone with respect.” (Picture: Nick Clayton)

Female AFLW players are continually asked what it is like to be a female in a male-dominated profession. So, Rory, what’s it like to be a male in a male-dominated profession?

I have no idea how to even answer it! It’s a strange question when you think about it. I suppose the question shouldn’t be asked that way. It should be, “How do you feel, playing the sport you love?” I’m incredibly grateful to make a living out of the sport I love. My sister [Shae] is an AFLW player, and she also played volleyball and captained Australia.

She travelled overseas and represented the country but had to pay for it every step of the way. Here I am, playing a sport in Australia and getting paid really good money to do so, while she’s paying her own way to represent the country. That emphasises this point. I suppose that was a great learning curve early in my career – I’m in an extremely privileged position.

How do you juggle family commitments [Sloane is father to Leo – who was stillborn at 34 weeks – Sonny, 1, and newborn Bodhi, five weeks old] with being a professional athlete?

I’ve been fortunate. Sonny was born at the end of our season and I had 13 weeks at home with him, so I was around for every little milestone, which was unbelievable. But this time, Bodhi was born in the middle of preseason so I had five days off and then went straight back into training.

It is a juggle managing the commitment of being a professional athlete – because I love what I do and obviously I want to be good at what I do – but then supporting family at home. My wife is unbelievable. We lost our first child Leo and she’s the most courageous and brave person I’ve come across in my time.

What she does for our family, I can never thank her enough in return, really. She’s the one there when I can’t be.

“She’s the most courageous and brave person I’ve come across in my time.” (Picture: Instagram)

Tomorrow marks International Women’s Day. What does it mean to you?

There are so many incredible women in my life who have shaped me, and who inspire me every day. My wife, as I said, has made me a better person. My sister, she’s inspired me with my sport. Her dedication and how happy she is inspires me. And my mum. Everyone loves their mum, don’t they?

I think you learn some of the most valuable lessons from your parents. Mum has made a huge impact and been a huge support to myself and my wife over the years. It’s a day to recognise the people in my life who not only shaped me but shaped the world, too.

As the father of sons, as well as a leader among a group of males, what lessons do you think it’s important for men to learn about gender equality?

I have to set the right example and treat everyone with the same respect I demand. It’s something I will be instilling in my boys, and I hope it’s something I set among anyone else. It infuriates me to see people treated differently to how they want, whether that’s because of sex, race or religion.

The message should be simple: treat everyone with respect. Clearly, as a society, we have a lot of work to do in that area. But that’s the ultimate goal.

“The AFLW has been incredible for the AFL.” (Picture: Nick Clayton)

Since the introduction of the AFLW in 2017, have you seen a shift in perception of the quality of the game and interest from women?

There is a massive shift and it’s evident when you do development work with kids. The participation in young girls has been huge. I’ve seen a young kid run around with [Adelaide Crows AFLW player] Chelsea Randall’s jumper next to another kid wearing a [Adelaide Crows AFL player] Taylor Walker jumper.

It’s such a great sign of things to come. The AFLW has been incredible for the AFL. And the skills of the players have gone up another level. It’s great to watch.

Your team appears in Making Their Mark, a new fly-on-the wall documentary about last year’s extraordinary AFL season.

Were you worried that filming would give away your club’s secrets?

My immediate reaction [when asked] to be a part of it was a hard no for that reason. I’m a pretty private person, but for years our club has been perceived as a closed book. That’s been the feedback from our fans.

They want to see more; they want to understand what goes on. This was the perfect opportunity to open up and share.

Rory Sloane features in this Sunday’s Stellar.

What did you learn about yourself from watching the season back?

I hate my voice! That’s my main thing. But I watched pieces with Belinda and she said it’s incredible to see what goes on inside the four walls. It was an incredible year and so many people sacrificed so much, and that’s something I hope comes across: the hard work of the coaches, support staff, family, even fans.

We asked so much of so many of our staff and family members to get that season finished. I hope that is evident.

Making Their Mark premieres on Amazon Prime Video on Friday.