The day I was told I was going to die

CORPORATE bigwig and family man Stuart Taylor thought he was invincible. But after a routine doctor’s appointment his whole life changed in an instant.

Stuart Taylor: “The news only became real once I started talking to neurosurgeons.”

CORPORATE bigwig and family man Stuart Taylor, 49, thought he was invincible. But after a routine doctor’s appointment his whole life changed in an instant.

Opening that envelope became the pivotal moment in my life. It had all started innocuously enough. I was sent for a brain scan by my GP; I had been feeling a piercing pain through my head whenever I blew my nose.

I was quite blasé about that January 2002 appointment as I saw myself as bulletproof: I was driven and successful, I had a loving wife and three small children under five. I didn’t think anything could touch me.

They tell you not to open the attached report — that you’re supposed to take it back to your doctor. But of course, you do open it. And there it was. A big word that, according to a quick Google search, meant I had a Grade 3 brain tumour.

Stuart Taylor was told his brain tumour would eventually kill him.

The news only became real once I started talking to neurosurgeons. I saw a few of them and the consensus was that I had two-and-a-half years to live. Two-and-a-half years. Imagine that. I tried to remain detached but how can you, really? It was a highly emotional time; I’d wake at night in fear. I worried about my wife and kids. I’d think about all the things I would miss — birthdays, anniversaries, graduations.

I had to talk to my oldest son, then aged five, about the fact his dad was very sick. My middle child was only three, yet he sensed something was wrong by reading our reactions. To this day, I think that period of instability has impacted on him.

After undertaking radiotherapy and having brain surgery, I eventually took my sister’s advice and also looked at my lifestyle and approach to living. I hadn’t had much time for alternative therapies during the period I call BC: Before Cancer. I considered them “magical thinking”.

Yet I soon understood there is a strong body of evidence behind approaches such as meditation and diet to assist in becoming healthier, when used in tandem with conventional medicine.

Stuart Taylor features in this week’s issue of Stellar.

I felt compelled to integrate this “consciousness shift” into my professional life, too. I founded a company that helps large corporations and government departments accelerate performance through improving resilience. At a human level, we work with leaders to support them to master their own health, spirituality and psychological wellbeing — and to lead others to do the same.

The Japanese have a word, ikigai, which means “a reason for being”. It advocates that you nominate six words to describe what motivates you to get out of bed each day. Chasing the dollar no longer motivates me. And it rarely motivates others for very long either. My six words are: “living, laughing, contributing with assertive humility”.

In Western society, we are addicted to anger. If I’ve learnt anything, it’s to let go of ego and to build compassion for yourself and for others. And as clichéd as it may sound, you must find your purpose in this life. Once you do that, the small stuff becomes irrelevant.

It has now been 16 years since I was first diagnosed with cancer. I’m still here, and I’m so very grateful.

Stuart Taylor is the CEO of Springfox, which provides evidence-based resilience programs. For more details, visit springfox.com.

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