Tessa James: ‘My initial reaction was why me?’
After a hard-won battle against cancer, actor Tessa James is focusing on life as a mother — a role she says she was born to play.
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Taking time out does not come naturally to Tessa James. Itchy feet and big dreams, coupled with the fact that she “has a lot of trouble sitting still”, have meant that James has led life at an unrelenting pace — until recently.
Since becoming a mother at the end of last year, 27-year-old James has been forced to slow down, relinquish control and sit out a few rounds.
“You can plan that you’ve got enough food and nappies, but even then stuff goes wrong,” she tells Stellar. “So you just have to go with the flow. Motherhood is the best. It’s hard work, don’t get me wrong, and is such a huge change, but in the best way possible. I just feel settled, I don’t need to do anything else.”
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Her boundless energy is a quality James now recognises in her 11-month-old son Saynt. “He’s so determined,” she says with a laugh. “He just goes hard all day then crashes at night. I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, we’re going to have some beef one day because he’s exactly like me.’ He looks like my husband, but I think his mind works like mine.”
For the past year, James and her husband, retired NRL footballer Nate Myles, 33, have been based in Los Angeles, coming back to Australia every now and then to check in with their families, and pursue “a few little ventures”.
James explains that after Saynt’s birth, she and Myles decided to “work it so that we could have a year of just being with our son and having that time together. I’m really happy with spending time just as a family.”
Stepping away from work is a change of pace that has been a long time coming for former teen star James. Starting off as a 15-year-old in Neighbours, she hit stardom in Home And Away, laying the groundwork for a successful career in the acting world.
However, James is the first to tell you things never quite seem to go to plan. At just 23, having discovered a lump above her collarbone, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. James put everything on hold to undergo urgent treatment and chemotherapy.
“Initially your reaction is ‘What’s going on? Why me?’ But I quickly snapped out of that,” James says. “I wasn’t positive, not the whole time, for sure. But you just have to keep going because things aren’t going to go the way you think all the time.”
Hoping to connect or inspire others going through something similar, James shared her journey to recovery with her 104,000 social-media followers, speaking openly and honestly about the realities of battling cancer.
Now, three years after getting the all clear, James is adamant that she will not let the experience dictate her future. “That’s what happened, yeah, [but] I don’t let it define me,” James says.
“It adds to the person that you are, and gives you empathy towards other people. I look at it as something that’s added to my life. And I got through it. So I’m not resentful in any way. Not at all. I’m not one to regret — and I try very hard not to look back. I would tell my younger self to know that it’s not going to work out how you thought, but that’s OK.”
Having children was one thing she wasn’t sure was going to work out at all. When James made the tough decision not to freeze her eggs — in order to immediately commence cancer treatment — she and Myles were uncertain whether they’d ever be able to conceive naturally. They did, and she says becoming a mother feels like the role she was born to play.
“I used to look up to women older than me and think, ‘God, they’re so comfortable with themselves. Why is that?’ But I think being a mother really gives you that. I feel strong, I feel happy. Yeah, life’s really good.”
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