Sarah Harris on dating: ‘I’d have to sort my bikini line out’

She might be Australia’s most glamorous fly-in fly-out worker, splitting her week between Melbourne and Sydney, but The Project host and single mum Sarah Harris says she has no time for dating and opens up on why it simply “stresses her out”.

“There’s zero time and I don’t need the complication,” says Harris of dipping her toe into the dating world. Picture: Sam Bisso for Stellar

For Sarah Harris, taking over Carrie Bickmore’s coveted position as co-host of The Project in January was the career opportunity of a lifetime, but it came with huge challenges. Based in Sydney as a single mother to two young boys, and working much of the week in Melbourne, she now splits her week in half; living two separate lives in two different states. As she joins Stellar’s podcast Something To Talk About, Harris opens up about being the TV equivalent of a fly-in fly-out worker, co-parenting her sons with her ex-husband (“it’s not perfect, but it’s perfect to us”) and why the mundane nature of motherhood is sexier than the thought of dating

On how she’s feeling one year after being announced as co-host of The Project, replacing founding presenter Carrie Bickmore (Harris’ new role was announced in November 2022 before she made her debut in January this year):

“It’s been a lot. It’s been a really big adjustment. A year has felt like five years. Certain weeks have felt like five years. There is a lot to kind of wrap your head around: the logistics of working between two states, of working at the other end of the day, of getting your head around a different type of show, sitting on the opposite side of the desk that I used to sit on for [her previous role as a presenter on the morning show] Studio 10 – all those little things.

Listen to the full interview with Sarah Harris on Something To Talk About in the player below or wherever you get your podcasts.

Having to be on at 6.30pm rather than 8am in the morning. The travel, the kids. It’s been a lot, but it’s been super fun. I’m being challenged by the work I’m doing and that’s a nice place to be in, because I think sometimes you feel like you’re a little bit on autopilot

if you’ve been in a job for a long time. I can say I’ve had a few surprises over the past year – in the best way. It’s been great.”

“The travel, the kids. It’s been a lot, but it’s been super fun,” says Harris. Picture: Sam Bisso for Stellar

On adjusting to living life between two states (Harris travels from her home in Sydney to record The Project live at the desk in Melbourne four nights a week):

“It took me a few months to really find my feet. There wasn’t a lot of time between leaving Studio 10 and basically up-ending my life and doing the split between two states. Sometimes if I think about it too deeply, it’s overwhelming. It’s pretty chaotic, my life. I drop the kids off at school on a Monday morning, dash to the airport, fly to Melbourne. I’m here for a few days. Last flight back into Sydney on a Thursday night. I take my kids to school on a Friday, I’m doing school excursions, volunteering at the school and then it’s school sport – and then rinse and repeat. I think, for a really long time, I tried to manage the chaos and now I’m just embracing it. You have to be resilient and ready to roll with the punches, which I think I’m pretty good at. I do like my routine, so to up-end that and trying to parent, as well, it’s a lot. So you just take a big breath and you just do it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. That’s where I’m at. When I clock off from this job, there’s no hanging around and relaxing. In Sydney, it’s straight into mum mode; that’s wiping bottoms, washing clothes, making lunches and I actually love all that stuff. I love the mundaneness of motherhood.”

On the reality of being a fly-in fly-out worker, and the parenting guilt that uniquely envelops working mothers (Harris co-parents her two sons, Paul, 7, and Harry, 5, with ex-husband Tom Ward):

“The biggest critic of me taking this job and being away from the boys a couple of days a week, three or four days and three nights essentially, was me. It felt really hard to come to terms with that. I felt like I was failing at everything – failing at being a mum, failing with the show. And you just have to put that aside because you have to take opportunities. I think if I had said no to the job because the juggle would be too hard – and let me tell you, there are times when the wheels completely fall off and I’m just going, what am I doing? I think most working parents do that, so I certainly don’t have it all together all of the time.

“Sometimes if I think about it too deeply, it’s overwhelming. It’s pretty chaotic, my life,” says Harris. Picture: Sam Bisso for Stellar

I’m lucky to get it 50 per cent of the time – I would have had resentment. I would have been kicking myself for not at least taking a shot and having a crack at it. It was something that I really had to take some time to think about, and to give myself a pep talk about, because I love being a mum. I wish I could be doing all of the kid stuff and it kind of breaks my heart when I miss a school assembly where Paul’s getting an award or something. I try to get to as much as I possibly can, like every working parent, but there are times when you beat yourself up and you fall into the spiral of ‘I’m a terrible mother’. That’s just got to stop. Because, for me, working makes me a better mum. I’ve got my own stuff going on and it’s not always a good balance, but I’m trying to balance the two. Does it sound like I’m convincing myself? Am I convincing you, as well?”

On co-parenting with Ward, whom she married in 2014 and is now separated from:

“We’ve been separated for three years now and we’re in a really good spot. I get a little bit protective of him because he’s not in the media, he’s in IT and he doesn’t want anything to do with this world, and he unfortunately gets dragged into it. But he’s such a wonderful dad and is doing such a good job. I think, broadly speaking, women sometimes, we want things done our way and there’s no kind of room for the blokes to make a mistake. And sometimes that incompetence can be weaponised, and then they don’t want to lean in and help.

Read the full interview with Sarah Harris in this wee

I found myself in this position, where I did everything and then just went, ‘Ah, I’m doing everything.’ It’s like, yeah, but that’s the way you set it up. And because there was not a lot of downtime – I think I had a two-week break between Studio 10 and then starting [at The Project] – I had to work that out. He does what he has to do with the boys on his time, and I do my time, but we’re also very respectful of each other. You’ve got to keep the kids as your first and central priority, and I think that’s how you get through it. You’ve got to make them happy, and calm. Keep them feeling like we’re not in the middle of some war zone. We’ve got two parents who absolutely adore us and our family just looks a bit different these days.”

On what their family dynamic looks like now:

“We took the boys to Fiji in July during the school holidays. It was the boys’ first trip overseas. I think we were both nervous about it because I had the idea and then he also had the idea and we both went, ‘We’ll just go together.’ Separate hotel rooms and all that sort of thing, but it was lovely because when the boys are the focus, it’s wonderful. And I think it’s really good for the boys to see that their parents are wonderful friends and only want the best for them. It takes a while to get to that point. Life is tricky, right? Life is complicated. It’s a really nice place to be in, being part of a family that looks a little bit different these days but there’s still a lot of love there. He’s protective of me. I’m protective of him. We’re both fiercely protective of the children. It’s not perfect, but it’s perfect to us.”

“Chaos is almost calming for me in some ways,” says Harris. Picture: Sam Bisso for Stellar

On how her idea of the “perfect life” has shifted over the past decade:

“What I thought would be my perfect life has certainly changed and I think it will keep changing until the day I die. I hope it does, because otherwise it would be a pretty bloody boring life. It’s funny that I’m in such a chaotic situation. I think I’m drawn a bit to the chaos. I don’t know whether it’s because I moved around a lot as a kid or was kind of used to starting new schools. Chaos is almost calming for me in some ways.”

On inevitable dating rumours, including those that romantically linked her to Dr Chris Brown, which she has since hosed down:

“He’s a delightful human being and it’s flattering because he’s really handsome and you want to be linked to someone who’s really handsome and lovely. I don’t have the time and I know that it sounds like that’s a line, but when I’m in Sydney, I’m with my boys to the point of, they sleep in my bed with me. They’re like, ‘Mum, we don’t want to sleep in our beds, we want to sleep with you.’ I actually sleep in the middle and I have one on each side because they both want to lie next to me, and if I was to find anyone, I’d have to give up time with my kids, and that’s just not a sacrifice I want to make. That’s not worth it to me. In Melbourne, I’m here for such a short time and I’m either shooting stories, doing publicity or prepping for the show. There’s zero time and I don’t need the complication.

“I’m just trying to do this job properly. I’m trying to be the best mum I possibly can,” says Harris. Picture: Sam Bisso for Stellar

I’m just trying to do this job properly. I’m trying to be the best mum I possibly can. I’m a pretty crappy friend at the moment – I barely get back to any of my friends because you just have to triage what’s critical and, for me, my boys and the job are critical. I’ve got my best mate in Melbourne. I’ve got [close friend and former Studio 10 co-host] Joe Hildebrand in Sydney. I’ve got a lovely team that I work with so I’m very blinkered and I feel like the pressure is off because I already have my boys. They give me all the love I need. So certainly not any time in the near future is anything happening like that. It stresses me out to think about because it would mean I’d have to shave my legs and sort my bikini line out, and I don’t want to do that. I just don’t have the time. I wish I could give you a sexier answer but genuinely my life is so full. It’s bursting at the seams.”

On whether a Gold Logie is on her vision board given that two of her current and former colleagues on The Project have been winners (Carrie Bickmore won the Gold Logie in 2015, and Waleed Aly in 2016):

“Honestly, no, it’s not. It’s not about the awards for me. I mean, it would be flattering but it’s not something I’m busting to achieve. And also, I don’t know, is it a bit cursed now, though? The Gold Logie? I’ve heard people speak about winning it and going, ‘Yes, this is finally proof that I’ve made it and I’m good at what I do.’ But that’s why I pay for therapy... I’m working on the inside. I don’t need a little gold statue to tell me I’m OK. Now that I’m in Melbourne a few days a week, maybe I need to have loftier goals, like the Queen of Moomba [annual festival] or something. [Laughs] How amazing would that be!”

Sarah Harris co-hosts The Project, Sunday to Thursday, at 6.30pm on Network 10.