Sarah Harris opens up about ‘gut-wrenching’ divorce
Sarah Harris gets candid about ‘really bloody hard’ divorce with Tom Ward, and how they’re navigating their new-look family.
Stellar
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As the stalwart anchor of morning talk show Studio 10, Sarah Harris has been no stranger to dissecting the marital joys and strife of a host of celebrities. But when she and Tom Ward, her husband of six years, faced the prospect of separating themselves, the journalist knew she would be opening herself up to scrutiny, confronting no harsher critic than herself.
Now, as she prepares to embark on a new role as a co-host on The Project, having been named to fill the hotly contested seat long held by Carrie Bickmore, Harris tells Stellar how work, therapy, and a poignant piece of advice from her eldest son got her through her darkest days – and shares her anticipation for what lies ahead.
As she admits, “I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. This is one of the biggest jobs on TV, and feels like a once-in-a-lifetime gig”.
For months after she emerged from the cocoon of lockdowns, Sarah Harris got emotional each time she had to board a plane.
Between the stress of being at an airport and dealing with the changes taking place in her family after separating from her husband, the Studio 10 co-host felt decidedly wobbly.
“At one point, I was crying on a flight and this beautiful flight attendant said to me, ‘Oh, last time you were on my flight, you were crying as well’,” Harris tells Stellar, cringing at the memory.
“I remember saying, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m a hot mess at the moment. It’s been a heck of a couple of years’.”
While the breakdown of her relationship with her partner Tom Ward, to whom she was married for six years, has brought great sadness and ongoing reflection, Harris says that it has also led to her appreciating the thoughtfulness of strangers.
“People are so kind,” she adds.
“The flight attendant said to me, ‘It’s alright darl, we all cry. Anyway, I love Beau Ryan on the show’.”
Sitting in a Sydney cafe after a morning at the Network 10 program she’s presented for nearly a decade, Harris is happy to report that a solid six months have passed since she’s been teary on a plane.
But as she chats with Stellar about what exactly it was about flying that prompted such a reaction, she’s suddenly crying again.
Perhaps, she offers, it was born out of the “next of kin” issue – who you list if you’re no longer part of a couple – and how something so prosaic can crystallise that change in your identity.
“It’s real and it’s scary,” she adds.
“There’s that feeling there’s no real anchor there, there’s no-one on the end of the phone, even though there always is.”
While her priority was to minimise the psychological damage to her children in the wake of the split, Harris doesn’t hide the pain over her separation, nor how difficult it has been to weather incoming and outgoing co-presenters on her morning talk show.
However, she points out that lots of women reached out to her.
“When you go through something like that, it’s like walking around with no skin and you feel like everyone can see your insides,” she reveals.
“You feel so exposed and vulnerable. It was hard because I was dealing with all these changes with the show as well.”
It’s this candour – along with her trademark assuredness, relatability and sense of humour – that has seen Harris not just survive but thrive in the ephemeral world of morning television.
At the same time that her personal life left her feeling untethered, her Network 10 bosses regarded her as a stabilising force, retaining her as Studio 10’s anchor as colleagues Kerri-Anne Kennerley, Natarsha Belling, Joe Hildebrand and weatherman Tim Bailey were jettisoned.
Now Harris, recognised as a rare TV news talent who can blend the gravitas required to anchor several hours of live TV with a self-effacement that’s necessary when dissecting both high- and lowbrow headlines, is preparing to step into a new role on The Project.
Just a few days ago, it was announced that she will join the hosting panel next year in the wake of Carrie Bickmore’s imminent departure from the show after 13 years.
“I did not see this coming,” Harris tells Stellar in her first interview since her new role was announced.
“And I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. It’s such an incredible opportunity to step into some pretty huge shoes and be part of The Project’s next chapter.
“I can’t wait to learn more, and have some fun with Waleed and the team. This is one of the biggest jobs in TV, and feels like a once-in-a-lifetime gig.”
Still, she admits, “It’s tinged with a bit of sadness. Because I now step away from a show that’s been my baby for the better part of a decade.
“But the little show that could is still humming along and has some big plans for 2023, as well. And we’ll always be family.”
Whatever new challenges await – the heavy scrutiny on a newcomer; the time required to build and perfect that onscreen rapport with a new team of co-hosts and the upheaval to her schedule now she’ll be hosting a show at the end of the day rather than the start – Harris knows she can cope.
She kept going through the turmoil of 2020 by building an onscreen partnership with her new co-host Tristan MacManus while navigating a new-look family with Ward and their sons Paul, 6, and Harry, 4.
“You can’t break down on air,” she tells Stellar, cradling a cappuccino. “You have to keep going for your kids, but it was a really bloody hard time.
“I don’t think anyone gets married to separate. It was gut-wrenching. But what I’m really proud of is how Tom and I have been able to work together for the kids.
“It will probably look a bit different, but we’re always going to be a family and we’re always going to be connected by these two little people.”
A few months after they separated, both parents were present for Paul’s first day of school, and with the boys both celebrating birthdays in early December, Harris – who was raised by a single mum and didn’t have a relationship with her dad – is determined that her children with Tom come first.
“I’m so proud of how resilient they’ve been and how they know they’ve got two parents who absolutely love them more than anyone or anything else on the planet,” she says.
“It’s been good to keep that focus.”
Indeed, it was Paul who recently taught his mum a valuable lesson during one of their after-school chats.
“He said to me the other day, ‘Mum, do you know that even if you don’t have any friends, you always have a friend with you?’” Harris recounts.
The TV veteran had some idea what might come next, but her son surprised her.
“Mum,” he said, “you should always be your own best friend.”
Harris says she’s thought about his words a lot. “How has it taken me to age 41 to learn that, yet my six-year-old is all over it? That’s what we should be teaching our kids.”
Growing up in Sydney housing commission and later a Queensland caravan park with her mother and brother, Harris says she has a deep understanding of the issues faced by her Studio 10 audience.
Changing schools made her adaptable, lacking means fuelled her work ethic, and handling tough circumstances made her resilient. But therapy – what she calls her “check-up from the neck up” – has helped her to be a bit easier on herself.
“Even though I’ve learnt that I’m even tougher than I thought I was, I’ve also tapped into this softness,” she tells Stellar.
“I’m not all guns blazing so much these days; I’m gentler with things and people and life.”
She also reveals that the chip she had on her shoulder about her difficult upbringing – “a pretty big chip, with a side of salsa” – has mostly fallen away.
“I’ve spoken to a number of people who’ve come from humble beginnings and they agree that it’s what drives you,” she shares.
“But you also have to make sure it’s not the thing that undoes you.”
An introvert at heart, Harris now enjoys her own company and jogs to process anxiety.
“Cat Marnell, who’s a fantastic writer, talks [in her memoir How To Murder Your Life] about Shame FM playing constantly in her head,” Harris explains.
“And I had this voice telling me that I could have done better or tried harder.
“But my [psychologist] pointed out to me that I had these two gorgeous children and this deep friendship with someone who is always going to be in my life. She said I should be celebrating that, and it’s true.”
She’s also mindful that the pandemic’s effects didn’t discriminate. “I went through hell during Covid, but so did a lot of others who lost family members and businesses
and livelihoods,” Harris reflects.
“I also lost one of my dearest friends, [TV and radio personality] Jono Coleman. He was 65 [when he died in July 2021, after living with prostate cancer for four years]. We weren’t able to say our goodbyes until months later.”
While lockdowns prevented her marking her 40th birthday in 2021, she celebrated her 41st by booking a holiday house in the Blue Mountains to spend a few days with her sons before Hildebrand, her friend and former co-host, joined with his family.
Amid the festivities, she says, she had a serene moment. “After I got the boys to bed one evening, I sat outside and looked at this huge full moon and had a good think about my life and what’s been achieved.
“Before kids, I identified myself as a journalist, and when I had kids, I became a mother.
“Now I know that no matter what job I do, I’m going to be OK no matter what life throws at me.
“There are days when the world is falling in and you think everyone can see your insides, but you have to dial into that sense of knowing, and not be defined by jobs and careers and children.”
That’s why she is fine that Studio 10 has moved away from the big-issue, firebrand debate format into cheerier entertainment.
“It’s definitely much lighter now,” Harris concedes.
“But when the Queen died, for example, I did six-and-a-half hours of rolling coverage, filling and padding and crossing to various parts of the world. That’s what I thrive on. That’s my happy place.”
Away from work, her friendship with Hildebrand meant he was there for her when she moved house, showing up with a van to pick up furniture she’d bought online and urging her to stop bargaining with sellers on Gumtree.
“He had to say to me, ‘Now listen, can you stop haggling with them? I’ve just lost my job and every time I turn up, they’re like, ‘You’re the guy on the TV, you can afford to pay the price,’” she recalls with a laugh.
Harris is as matter-of-fact about the poor ratings that have recently dogged Studio 10.
“It can be deflating, particularly if you feel that you’ve had a great show,” she admits.
“But what gets me is people stop you in the street and talk to you like you’re their daughter or sister or friend. That’s the measure for me. Beyond that, I can only control what I can control.”
To that end, she gives her all to present three-and-a-half hours of live television each day and, at home, focuses on being available for her sons.
Paul, she says, knows more about war history than she does, and Harry is obsessed with the Titanic and all forms of transport. Both have made her well versed in fart talk.
“I love being a boy mum,” she says.
“It’s a big responsibility raising tomorrow’s men.”
As for romance, it’s not on her radar.
“My [psychologist] says it takes about three years before you’re even in that space,” Harris says.
“And I have too many other things to deal with before then.”
In any case, her bed is rather full at the moment with both boys snuggling in beside her each night.
“Before I had kids, I had a very specific idea of what motherhood was going to be with schedules and military-style operations, but so much of it just comes from the heart,” she says, adding wistfully, “I sleep in the middle so they don’t fight; I smell their hair and it makes me feel so calm and content. It’s not going to be forever.”
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