Sam Armytage admits she doesn’t have a clue
In an era dominated by know-it-alls, Samantha Armytage has decided it is OK to actually admit that she doesn’t know everything. She just wishes everybody else would follow suit.
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Answer this honestly: when was the last time you asked someone a question and they answered simply, “I don’t know”? Or asked them for their opinion on an issue and they merely shrugged and replied, “I’m not sure”?
Don’t worry, as a quick and confident journalist, I don’t know when the last time was for me, either.
At a guess, I’d say it was about 1997. That is, before the invention of social media. A great, prehistoric time when people mainly kept their opinions to themselves, and their long-suffering friends and family. A golden age when “outrage” was a rarely used noun, instead of a commonly assaulted verb.
Have you noticed that in 2020, everybody knows everything? From the weather to the best restaurants to the number of career aces served by Roger Federer.
We’ve all become walking Funk & Wagnalls, trying desperately to hide any gap in our knowledge from public view.
Even when we know less about the topic at hand than I do about salmon fishing in the Yemen. Oh, I forgot. I saw that movie on a plane once. Now, I’m an expert.
So in this era of great know-it-alls, I’ve decided to swim against the tide like, yes you guessed it, a pink fish in the Red Sea. (I could Google a river in Yemen, but I actually can’t be bothered.)
I’m taking great delight at dropping the words I don’t know into my conversations, particularly when I don’t actually know the answer. But also sometimes, when I’m feeling frisky, when I do.
(And this seriously goes against the Journalist’s Code of Enormous Ego, which insists you must believe you’re always the smartest person in the room, even when you’re surrounded by rocket scientists.)
If you start a sentence with the word apparently, you can sound like an expert on anything. Apparently, scientists recently discovered it’s possible for an adult to actually keep their thoughts inside their head – without blurting them out and boring everyone to death.
Also there’s data showing that opinions are not facts. I think I read that somewhere. Maybe on Twitter? Or maybe I just MADE IT UP.
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Now let’s face it, part of being an adult is discovering none of us have all the answers. And overestimating your knowledge can be dangerous. Not to mention, well, just plain boring.
The best bit about my newfound “I-don’t-know-ism” is the reaction from unsuspecting victims. As they brace for my brilliance (or bullsh*t, depending on the topic), I throw out the line, “I haven’t got the foggiest idea.”
Or perhaps I give them a “Your guess is as good as mine.” Then I watch their eyes widen in amazement that someone, in 2020, has admitted to having no clue.
Then usually the other person offers some wonderful tidbit of information. Then, lo and behold, we’re having an actual two-way conversation.
Exciting. Then, miracle of miracles, a relationship is being formed. What will we think of next?
So, sermon over. In a world full of Google-powered instant experts, it’s OK to occasionally be an I-don’t-know-ist.
As my grandmother, who’s survived perfectly well for more than nine decades, says: “Those who always know best are a universal pest.”
Samantha co-hosts Sunrise, 5.30am weekdays, on the Seven Network.