Rob Mills and Casey Donovan: ‘We both struggle’
Their stints as contestants on Australian Idol catapulted Rob Mills and Casey Donovan to stardom. Now, the pair discuss how their enduring friendship has supported them through dark times.
Stellar
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You’re both Australian Idol alumni – Rob, you were a finalist in the first season in 2003 and Casey, you won the competition the following year at the age of 16. Did your friendship start as a result of the show?
Rob Mills: I remember seeing Casey on TV and being in awe of this gift and incredible presence on stage at such a young age. And I remember feeling like I just wanted to look after her. You know, “If you need anything, I’m here for you.”
I knew there was something really special about Case, and I think that’s why we’ve managed to keep a friendship for so long. There’s mutual respect and when you meet her, there’s an authenticity. There’s nothing false. [Looking at Donovan] You’re very lovely.
Casey Donovan: Aw, as are you! I think what keeps our friendship is that there’s no BS. If one of us needs to lean on the other or have a laugh, we’re only ever a text away. It’s a genuine friendship. And that’s one thing I’ve thoroughly enjoyed about watching, you know, the “Idol kids” as I call us.
We were in a time that was different to what it is now and it certainly did create bonds and a shared experience. We’re still peppered throughout the industry…
RM: I get so much joy watching Guy [Sebastian] on The Voice. I’m like, ah! I’m so proud! There’s a genuine camaraderie.
How did your lives change as a result of Australian Idol?
RM: For me, there was a pretty big spike. I got to release an album and do all this stuff and then there was a lot of downtime. That’s probably when a lot of sadness came in, like, if I’m not singing, who am I? I went back to labouring. Luckily for me, I was that quintessential 25-year-old [who went] overseas to find [myself]. I found musical theatre on the West End and went, “that’s for me”.
CD: There were great moments, but there were lots of down moments. Still trying to figure out who I was and trying to do that through the eye of Australia was difficult. Coming from this massive, massive win to this massive, massive low – and not knowing what was up and who to believe or what to listen to.
There are lots of things that have happened in my life that have made me build resilience, which I’m grateful for, because I don’t believe we can grow if we don’t have hardship. Doing that from 16 and now being 33, it’s a pretty big space to grow in, and to fall, get up and keep dusting yourself off.
RM: Adversity breeds awesomeness.
You’ve both had hugely successful and diverse careers – in singing, acting and musical theatre. But in the early days, did you ever suffer from imposter syndrome?
RM: I still do!
CD: That doesn’t ever go away.
RM: Casey Donovan, she paces backstage like no-one I’ve ever seen. I call her Pacey Casey at gigs. She’s like, “Oh God, oh God,” and I’m like, “Casey, you’ve been doing this for a few years now, you know you can do it.”
As ambassadors for R U OK? Day, you’re both vocal advocates for mental health. What was the catalyst for speaking out on the subject?
RM: Being thrust into the spotlight at such a young age – Casey was 16 and I was 21. Having sad thoughts throughout my early 20s after that build-up into the world of celebrity. Everyone else having a much bigger idea of who I was than I did. I wanted to preach that message: do the work earlier on.
When you work out who you are, the easier your life becomes and the less anxious – [because] you’re not trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. At an early age I had pretty good self-confidence, but I had a lack of self-worth.
CD: I’m a very anxious person. I’ve struggled with depression. I’ve had not-great thoughts. I’ve had not-great life experiences. I’ve continuously evolved. And through telling my story and being open, honest and vulnerable, I feel like everything aligns with R U OK? People checking in on me, and making sure that I was OK in times when I really wasn’t, really helped.
In the midst of the pandemic, with many Australians currently in lockdown, why is it more important than ever before to check in with friends and loved ones, and ask, “Are you OK?”
CD: We’re so disconnected physically that the only connection we have is through a camera on the phone or via text. It’s hard. Everyone is finding new challenges – and whether you’re not fully understanding those feelings, whether they’re coming out as loneliness or sadness or anger or frustration... now is the best time to be reaching out to people.
RM: It’s also OK to recognise that maybe you can’t be the person to have that conversation. Our empathy levels are depleted. But at least you can point them in the right direction – put them in touch with their GP to get on a mental-health plan. Go and have a chat with someone who is really qualified. Even just broaching the subject lets someone know that we’re all in this together.
Casey and I, we go see psychologists and, basically, our modus operandi is to break down that stigma of seeing a counsellor. It’s as important as going to see a physio for a sore hamstring. It’s exactly the same thing in my mind.
CD: I’ve spoken to people who say, “I’ve got a job, I’ve got a regular income and you’ve lost all of your work.” And I’m like, “I’m not saying you’re not allowed to feel sh*t because you’ve got a job.”
RM: You should never compare struggling. Everyone struggles on different levels.
CD: As someone said: we’re all in the same storm, but we’re in different boats. Some people have big yachts, some have dinghies. Some people are in the water. But we’re all in the same storm, even if we’re not in the same boat.
Support R U OK? Day this Thursday. For tips on how to start a conversation, or to find out more, head to ruok.org.au.
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