Natalie Barr on the worst day of her life
IT has been 17 years since Natalie Barr’s father passed away but the pain is still raw. She reveals how she honours the memory of the man she called her best friend.
Stellar
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FATHER’S Day in Natalie Barr’s house can be a messy affair. Instead of serving up breakfast in bed to her husband Andrew “Drew” Thompson, the Sunrise newsreader and her sons, Lachlan, 16, and Hunter, 13, usually find themselves standing in muddy fields — at least until now.
“When I grew up, we’d always have family round and have a barbecue and Mum would make a sponge cake, but I’ve been pretty slack in keeping that up,” she tells Stellar. “I might cook a nice lunch, but for years both my boys played AFL, and in Sydney in my area it’s played on a Sunday, so we were always driving around from game to game on Father’s Day. They’ve both just dropped it, but Andrew coached for six years and I was the manager.”
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And then there’s Barr’s father, Jim. He was in the family’s hometown of Bunbury, in WA, when he died suddenly in June 2001 at just 61. His death changed her view of the occasion. “My father passed away when I was pregnant with my first son Lachlan,” she says. “My husband’s father passed away last year after a long battle with Parkinson’s. I was so close to Dad, so I guess maybe, subconsciously, I didn’t want to do anything. It is a sad day for me, as well.”
Barr, who turned 50 this year, knew her dad was a heavy smoker, but his passing still came as a shock. He returned home after a game of golf and was complaining of heartburn. He went to bed, suffered a massive heart attack and died. “It was the worst day of my life; it was horrific,” Barr says, becoming tearful at the memory. “We were so similar, Dad and I. He was one of my best friends, which I don’t think everyone can say about a parent, but he really was.”
The pain of his loss is still apparent when the Seven Network veteran talks about what a role model he was for her.
“We talked a lot, and I would never think of not running anything by my dad. I was so proud of him. He left school at 14, [with] hardly any education and formed a highly successful real estate agency with a business partner in Bunbury, and lived a really great life because of that,” she says. “He loved [a] good red wine, he and Mum travelled the world. They had a great life; it just ended so abruptly. He accomplished so much, coming from so little. I was just so bloody proud. By doing what he did, you just learnt you could do anything you wanted — nothing could ever hold you back.”
Barr says knowing her father died from a heart attack has made her keenly aware of the importance of looking after her own health. She campaigns for the Heart Foundation to promote its work on the risk factors and preventive measures for heart disease and symptoms of heart attack. She explains she’s particularly motivated to increase awareness on the prevalence of heart disease in women, because it is Australia’s leading cause of death in females.
While she has been tested and has no genetic risk for heart disease, Barr will happily visit the doctor at the first hint of any twinge that could be heart-health related. “I went recently because I was starting to get pains in my chest, and I’ve had it several times,” she says. “I’ll go to the doctor, and they’ll hook me up to [machines] and say, ‘No, you’re just getting a cold.’ It’s on your mind when you’ve had it in your family.”
And despite the hectic nature of an on-air role, Barr says that working on
Her dad’s attitude to work still influences her outlook on life. “I grew up in a house where Mum was the homemaker, and Dad was responsible for selling houses. If he didn’t sell any, there wasn’t any money, so he worked all weekend if he had to. That’s what I grew up with; you get up and go to work, and I’m lucky because I love my job.”
As Father’s Day rolls around this year, Barr says she and her family will find different ways to honour her dad’s memory. She acknowledges she will spend some of the day in tears, but believes crying can be cathartic for others who have lost a father, too. “Don’t be afraid of having a good cry and wallow a bit — there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t want to stop crying, because I feel like then I’ll forget him.”
There may even be a toast in Jim’s honour. “My husband is the same as Dad — he does love a very good red wine — and we’ll say, ‘This one’s for Jim.’ He loved very good champagne, too, so it’s a very good excuse to have a couple of drinks.”