‘It isn’t a trend – it isn’t fun’: Abbie Chatfield on body-shaming, dating … and FBOY Island

Abbie Chatfield has revealed how has handled intense scrutiny – and the one thing she’ll ‘never’ do again when it comes to her sex life.

In a new episode of the Stellar podcast Something To Talk About, Abbie Chatfield gets frank about her “really bad start to the year”, the ADHD diagnosis that brought a sense of clarity, public commentary on her weight loss and getting better at knowing which battles to pick – and which to walk away from.

On being diagnosed with ADHD, and how it changed her outlook:

“It was wonderful. The medication I’m on has helped a lot of things – even dating. It’s stopped me from hyperfixating. With ADHD, you’re trying to find dopamine. So if you’re getting dopamine from seeking a text back from someone, then you become obsessed and it becomes really painful. Since being on medication, I haven’t had that feeling of being sick about someone not replying to me. And that was really relieving to know I’m not obsessive or weird; I just have a dopamine deficiency … The biggest thing in speaking to others who have been diagnosed is not the medication, it’s the relief and the lack of guilt and the release of shame. If I forget something, it isn’t because I’m silly or incompetent. It’s that my brain was inattentive. I’ve been able to kind of manoeuvre my life around finding coping strategies. I understand myself more, and I feel less guilty about things.”

Abbie Chatfield: ‘It isn’t a trend. It isn’t fun. And I think that speaking about it helps others.’ Picture: Daniel Nadel for Stellar

On ADHD being pegged as a “trend”:

“I don’t see how it really affects anyone. If someone is having symptoms in line with ADHD and if taking medication – or even just the relief of a diagnosis – helps them, what’s the issue? Having ADHD, it’s not a fun, silly, quirky thing. It’s really difficult. You have hypersensitivity to rejection and emotions. You get overstimulated really easily – and I have a job that is constantly stimulation. It isn’t a trend. It isn’t fun. And I think that speaking about it helps others – even if they don’t get a formal diagnosis – [to be] relieved of shame.”

Listen to the full interview with Abbie on Stellar’s podcast, Something To Talk About, wherever you listen to podcasts, or press play here:

On commentary around her weight loss:

“People are accusing me of being on Ozempic, or of having an eating disorder. Or they just say, ‘You look great, what are your workouts?’ The reality is there are lots of reasons – including medication, including forgetting to eat sometimes because of my medication. I also got a dog and I walk the dog, I do personal training more regularly, I was filming a TV show and I only had time to eat one meal … all these different reasons. It’s really confronting to me when people say, ‘You’ve lost too much weight.’ I don’t particularly like how much weight I’ve lost – you can see my rib cage, it makes me feel weird. I don’t like how my body looks anymore. I get comments from strangers saying I look great, or feigned concern from them in my DMs … I find the accusations around why I’ve lost weight bizarre.”

On choosing which battles to pick, given that she has garnered a reputation for sharing opinions and calling out other public figures when she disagrees with or wants to dispute their stance:

“I do ignore a lot of stuff, or I try to now. I used to bite back a lot more. Mainly, I don’t have time to be going on my Instagram stories. And I also have friends in the industry now who are like, just take a breath, just go to sleep. Em Rusciano, who has ADHD and autism, DMed me one night and said, ‘I know what it’s like to put all of the ADHD hyperfixation in one spot and feel emotionally exhausted and wrecked by this. Everyone else is going on about, you know, how brave and strong you are, but you’ve just depleted your own tank.’ So I’ve learnt to pick my battles a bit more.”

Abbie Chatfield: ‘If I’m being honest, I’m not doing well. I’m trying to get on top of everything.’ Picture: Daniel Nadel for Stellar

Abbie Chatfield on set for Stellar. Picture: Daniel Nadel for Stellar

On coping with burnout and whether she is able to carve out some time for herself:

“It’s been a really bad start to the year, to be completely honest. I had the best time filming [her hosting role on the new reality series] FBOY Island. It’s very ironic that the most relaxing time of my year so far was when I was doing 15-hour days for weeks in a row [filming FBOY Island] … I was like, wow, how relaxing is this? Not being [home], doing a million things. The only time I find for myself – and my manager and I decided this two years ago – is that I have personal training three times a week. No-one is allowed to talk to me and it won’t move for anything. But if I’m being honest, I’m not doing well. I’m trying to get on top of everything.”

On whether she learnt any lessons from filming FBOY Island that she may bring to her own dating life:

“Temporarily, maybe? Old habits die hard, darl. I always go back to the fboys; I hate that about myself. But I was able to be a friend to [the women on the show], know the intricacies and see everything – and sometimes even be an advocate for guys I thought were genuinely nice. I liked being able to be as close as the women were, but without the love goggles on. It helped me to be able to see the behaviour and how I should call it out in my real life. I’ve tried – tried, attempted! – and then I get told I’m being ridiculous and I’m like, ‘Sorry! Sorry!’ But, look, I’m trying. I’m getting back into therapy – a tonne of therapy.”