How do I tell my colleague they have bad breath?
Office politics is hard enough to navigate. So what should you do if your workmate has a bad case of halitosis? Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble has some expert advice.
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Office politics is hard enough to navigate. So what should you do if your workmate has a bad case of halitosis? Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble has some expert advice.
My sister lost her husband in March of this year from a sudden heart attack. She is not coping well and I am very scared that she may self-harm.
Though I have mentioned counselling to her on a number of occasions, I cannot seem to get her to go.
She says that the experience will destroy her. How do I help her get through her grief, especially as she has a dependent 18-year-old son who would be severely traumatised if she came to any harm?
I’m wondering if your sister has a history of depression. Grief is certainly not depression, but the fact that you fear that she may self-harm makes me think that she may have struggled with depression in the past.
It’s only been seven months since your sister lost her husband, which is really no time at all. Grief comes in waves and sometimes those waves can be overwhelming.
It can be so hard to know how to help someone you love who is in so much pain. But often the best thing you can do is just be with your sister.
Sit in silence with her, if that’s what she’d prefer. Or talk about your brother-in-law. Tell her everything that you loved about him. Encourage her to share her memories of him with you. Keeping his spirit alive is the best thing you can do for her and your nephew.
Check in regularly with him. Your nephew may not be speaking up and saying how he’s feeling, but that doesn’t mean he’s OK.
Be aware of the significant days — birthdays, wedding anniversary, Christmas and, of course, the one-year anniversary.
These actual days may not be harder, but extra support is often needed around these times. Finally, try to find the name and number of a good psychologist in her area. Sometimes, if a person has the name of someone to call, they might just pick up the phone.
I work in a medium-sized office with two lovely, warm and kind ladies. The problem is that they both have extreme halitosis.
One of them is a “close talker” and seems oblivious to her scent, while the other one keeps complaining to me about the other girl’s breath and has asked me to tell her that her smell offends the staff, despite her own breath nearly knocking me out!
Am I right in keeping (my nose) out of their business, or should I risk alienating them both by giving out some home truths?
Wow — yours is a difficult dilemma because we all know how hard it is to tell someone that they have bad breath. I suppose you have three options. You could say nothing and hope the problem goes away.
Or you could thank the woman who told you and promise to have a word to the “close talker”, but mention that there have also been complaints about her breath.
My preferred option would be to send out a general memo to everyone in the office.
You could say that the issue of halitosis has been brought to your attention. Because you won’t be naming names, there will no doubt be a general feeling of paranoia about the office, but that may trigger change.
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In your email, you could say that body odour, halitosis and the state of the bathrooms are all factors that affect life in the office.
You can ask everyone to be aware of these issues and to maintain good personal hygiene. Surely everyone would then apply a little more deodorant and start using breath-freshening mints, and maybe even visit their dentist.