Edwina Bartholomew: ‘Turning into your parents is just the start’

If you’re feeling chilly and find yourself furious over wet towels on the floor, you’ve officially entered the echelon of adulting you spent so long trying to avoid, writes Edwina Bartholomew.

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It was the tweet we didn’t need to read when many of us are already sitting at home, alone.

Child star, Macaulay Culkin to his almost one million followers, “Hey guys, wanna feel old? I’m 40. You’re welcome”.

Thank you, Kevin McCallister for confirming what I had already feared. We are all getting O.L.D.

For me, the realisation hit when I spent my day off cleaning the fridge. If there was any doubt that I’m closer to 40 than 30, this was it. If it’s not the fridge, it’s the tax, the laundry or the dinner.

If I’m starting to sound like my mother, it’s probably because I just became a mum myself.

House too cold? Put a jumper on.

Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister in Home Alone.

I don’t care what we have for dinner as long as I don’t have to cook it myself. Don’t go up the stairs without taking something with you. Pick up your wet towel from the bed/floor/chair.

The phrases now uttered in our household echo the ones shouted from room to room 30 years ago, 40 years ago. I’m pretty sure back in the 1800s, they were banging on about taking out the bins.

It’s called adulting. It’s technically not a word but it’s definitely a “thing”.

A verb turned noun that perfectly describes the inevitable transition from young, hip person to someone who uses the words young and hip.

It’s me, it’s Macaulay and, if you’re reading this, it’s probably you.

Turning into your parents is just the start. There are plenty of other warning signs.

Knowing the names of plants, another certain indication of 37 going on 70.

Edwina Bartholomew with her daughter Molly. Picture: supplied

Asking a younger colleague for help with the printer only to be told they’ve never used one.

How about agreeing that socially distanced, sit-down nightclubs where you don’t have to line up for a drink actually sound quite pleasant?

Before I field a phone call from my mother (because you’re never too old to get in trouble), turning into your parents is not such a bad thing.

You get older, you supposedly get wiser or, as the name of this new section suggests, smarter.

As 37 becomes 38 and 2020 becomes 2021, thank god, I look forward to sharing the ups and downs and ins and out of life, parenting and the futile quest for balance, whatever that is.

The world has changed significantly.

No doubt, there are more seismic shifts to come but we can still count on some certainties: birth, death, taxes, laundry and watching Home Alone at Christmas.

So, Happy 40th Birthday, Macaulay. We’ll see you in December.