Reality of office romances revealed: Who is hooking up with who at work?
Dating apps might be all the rage but office relationships are still more common than you think ... and for one age group in particular.
Forget Tinder or the local pub, Generation X are looking for love at work.
More than a third admitted to hooking up with a workmate but new couples may wish to keep shenanigans secret from older colleagues, as Baby Boomers are least likely to approve of a workplace dalliance.
A new survey by SEEK revealed 36 per cent of Australians born 1961 to 1980 (Generation X) had been involved in a romantic workplace relationship at some point in their career, compared to 25 per cent of those born 1981 to 2000 (Generation Y) and 22 per cent of those born 1946 to 1960 (Baby Boomers).
Social analyst David Chalke said the Gen X effect was mostly the result of having more women in the workplace while this group was coming up through the ranks.
Attitudes were also changing.
“When the boomers were in the workplace, if they became entangled then the woman was asked to leave,” he said.
“My wife and I met in the workplace and when we became an item, management kindly and politely requested she find another place of employment.”
Mr Chalke, principal of The Strategy Planning Group, said Generation X was also the divorce generation as the introduction of the Family Law Act in the 1970s caused a spike in divorce rates and led to more transient relationships.
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Meanwhile, the comparatively low hook-up rate of Generation Y was likely the result of changes to the way young people socialised.
“The avenues for social expression are so much greater these days, whether in the physical world of pubs and clubs or the online possibilities of swipe right, swipe left,” he said.
“For Generation Y, there are opportunities to find romance elsewhere outside of work, whereas for Generation X, they didn’t have the internet, they had a fax machine and photocopier.”
Mr Chalke said there was also now some fear of flirtation in the wake of the #MeToo movement and that might be keeping the Generation Y figure lower.
A US study, Vault’s 2018 Office Romance Survey, found 35 per cent of men and 22 per cent of women were less likely to think a workplace relationship was acceptable following the #MeToo movement and high profile sexual harassment allegations.
SEEK resident psychologist Sabina Read said it was not surprising people formed romantic bonds at work as so much time was spent there, however there could be a negative ripple effect for colleagues.
“Issues and conflicts of interest can arise, potentially leaving not only the couple involved confused and conflicted, but other colleagues too,” she said.
“For most employers, it’s useful to have clear guidelines around employee relationship expectations.”
The SEEK survey revealed 74 per cent of Australians were not bothered by workplace relationships that existed before they had joined the organisation, however just 38 per cent thought it was acceptable to start a romantic relationship at work.
Baby Boomers were least receptive, with just one in five (20 per cent) believing it was acceptable.
Mr Chalke said Baby Boomers tended to hold more conservative social views despite many growing up in the era of free love.
“It might also be they are beginning to forget things,” he said.
“They forget their flirted in the workplace, too.”
WHEN IT ALL WORKS OUT
For gardeners Adam Jenkin and Kelly Duncan, keeping their workplace romance a secret from colleagues was not an option – they had been playing cupid from the start.
The Generation X pair had been working for the same local government but in different teams when Ms Duncan made the first move.
“There was a bit of interest from both sides then one of the other blokes she was working with got my number for her and she gave me a call and asked me out,” Mr Jenkin said.
“I thought that was pretty cool.
“It probably took a bit longer than it should have because we were both a bit shy but we both knew we were pretty keen on each other.”
Mr Jenkin said they happily told people about the workplace romance but were mindful of how others might react.
“We were told by management just to be aware of what other people would think, don’t be all over each other, don’t go shoving it in people’s faces,” he said.
Now, 16 years later, Mr Jenkin and Ms Duncan still work for the same employer but have two sons together - Jessie, 4 and Sam, 1.
Mr Jenkin’s advice for others considering a workplace romance was to “back yourself and go for it”.
“Don’t be too concerned about anyone else,” he said.
“You might cop a bit of stick from your work colleagues but they will move on to the next person.
“Why not? You’ve got nothing to lose.”
EIGHT QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE STARTING A WORKPLACE ROMANCE
1 What are the upsides and downsides of the relationship working or not?
2 Is there a power imbalance at work between you and the person you are considering having a relationship with?
3 If the relationship works and the person has the ability to promote you, will others think this was because of your relationship rather than your work?
4 If the relationship does not work, will this potentially create a barrier to promotion?
5 Is the person is married?
6 Has the person had other workplace relationships and how did these turn out?
7 Are there any workplace policies about such a relationship?
8 Are you prepared to be professional and respectful if the relationship becomes known in the workplace?
Source: Relationships Australia NSW
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