‘Looking for answers’: Why we can’t give up this guilty dating habit

Sure, this common dating habit might be a little woo-woo, but according to Jana Hocking, it can provide a much-needed dose of “clarity”.

Hi, my name is Jana Hocking, and I am a shameless tarot-loving, psychic-visiting, palm reading, crystal-clutching addict.

Tell me that wearing a rose quartz around my neck will bring in love – I’ll wear five.

Tell me to manifest my dream man under a full moon – done it.

Tell me your great aunt’s best friend’s neighbour went to a psychic who predicted when her husband would come into her life – sign me up.

In times of dating dilemmas, I’ve rather thirstily turned to the spiritual world for clarity.

Sure, it might be better to work on myself with a spot of therapy, self-love and healthy life practices, but isn’t it so much easier to visit a guru who can look into some tea leaves and tell you that Mr Dream Man is just around the corner?

So please know that it is with great embarrassment that I admit that last year, I went to three psychics.

Not one, that could be slightly understandable. Not two, out of a hint of desperation. Nope – I went to three. And they all told me the same thing.

1. Neither of the two blokes I’ve been playing on/off with are going to be my “one”.

2. I’m definitely getting married (huzzah!)

3. They predicted how and when I would meet my significant other.

Now, these times all varied. One predicted I would meet my soul mate while sitting at a table somewhere overseas.

Another said I would meet my soul mate in December and he would have wide shoulders and be super zen.

And the final one said I would meet my soul mate through work this last May.

Spoiler alert: None of this happened.

’Let’s face it – we’ve all met someone who went to a psychic who got it spot on.’

And trust me, I sat at every damn table in New York, London and Mykonos last year.

I accepted every invite to every party in December on the hunt for Mr Wide Shoulders.

And I kept one eye open at work for Mr May.

None of these gents presented themselves and to be honest, I now feel like a bit of a loon.

So why the heck did I end up seeing three psychics last year?

Well, if I’m being completely honest, last year was an absolute head-scratcher when it came to my love life. In fact, I would go so far as to say it was an unpredictable and scattered rollercoaster of a ride.

First, I met my match in terms of a sparring partner. Yep, he loved a debate just as much as I do but unfortunately, just like me, he was as stubborn as a bull.

Then an unexpected ex popped back up for another round of “are we, aren’t we” before I eventually choofed off overseas for a last-minute holiday to really shake off the cobwebs both relationships left in their wake.

During all the confusion I did what many a woman has done before me. I consulted psychics for a quick “Chill, everything is going to work out for you” assurance. I wanted answers and I wanted them NOW!

Let’s face it, we’ve all met someone who went to a psychic who got it spot on.

For me, that was an old school friend. Now buckle up for this story because it’s a doozy, and I assure you, very real.

My dear friend had just opened her own hairdressing salon and been on a couple of great dates with a guy. Safe to say she was living her best life.

'Hi, my name is Jana Hocking, and I am a shameless tarot-loving, psychic-visiting, palm reading, crystal-clutching addict.'

One day, the mother of her apprentice called up to speak to her daughter. My friend answered the phone, and they made small talk for a little while before the mother exclaimed, “Oh, congratulations – you’re pregnant”.

“What?!” my friend said.

She chuckled and explained she wasn’t. In fact, she had only been on a couple of dates with a guy. But the mum stuck to her guns, explaining that she was a psychic, and she was absolutely certain she was pregnant. Oh, and the baby was a girl.

My friend said she handed the phone to her apprentice and ran straight to the supermarket to buy a pregnancy test.

First test came back positive. Shocked and in denial, she took another one. Yep, you guessed it, positive. By the third and fourth test there was no denying it. Girlfriend was pregnant.

Roughly nine months later, she had a gorgeous baby girl.

I think of this story whenever I’m feeling a little lost and desperately looking for answers. Surely someone out there knows what I should do, or can at least tell me there is light at the end of this grim dating tunnel I sometimes find myself in.

So, when I met a psychic last year at a mutual friend’s long lunch, I jumped at the chance for her to do a reading. She was the one who told me I’d meet ol’ soul mate while sitting at a table.

The next psychic I came across was at a media event. A fabulous fashion brand had hired a psychic to do readings at the event and I admit I went straight to the front of the line. That’s where I learnt about Mr Broad Shoulders.

I was lamenting on the last two psychics not exactly hitting the spot with a friend while walking hot laps around Centennial Park one sunny afternoon when she said “Right – you MUST see my psychic. She’s predicted everything that has happened in my life so far, and I’m confident she’ll do it for you as well”.

So once again, I booked in a reading and passed over a sum of money, figuring it would probably be worth it. That was the psychic who told me about Mr May.

Well, as you can guess, May has come and gone and the only thing I’m cuddling at night is my pillow.

But you know what, I don’t regret going to any of them. Because despite the tears that came when all three said I was wasting my time with last year’s blokes, they also brought a brief moment of relief.

We all fret (usually late at night) about when we will finally leave the dating merry-go-round and find our special person.

Psychics give the mind a brief reprieve and assure us they are coming.

So for all the bells and whistles, if it brings you a little bit of clarity (real or fake), then I say bring it on.

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking

Originally published as ‘Looking for answers’: Why we can’t give up this guilty dating habit