Ponder this: ‘Has anyone asked you recently if you were born vaginally?’

Why new mums need to hear this experienced mum’s no-nonsense advice.

There is so much to feel guilty about as a new mum: Firstly there’s your baby’s birth, then there’s how you feed your baby, how you carry your new baby and how and where he or she might sleep.

As they grow into little toddlers, you might feel guilt around childcare choices or when and how to toilet train.

There are literally no decisions as a parent that do not come without a heavy sense of judgement from other parents, family members and experts who might have made different choices to you.

With all this guilt, emotion and seemingly endless advice, it is no wonder that clear and kind words can cut through.

Which is exactly is what happened with one of Becca Maberly’s viral Instagram Reels.  

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Image: Instagram @amotherplace

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"Were you breastfed as a baby?"

The pregnancy and postnatal expert has a legion of fans across her social channels and this one video offering no nonsense advice to new mums has been viewed millions of times.

In the short clip Becca talks directly to camera and asks a series of questions to get the mums thinking.

“Has anyone asked you recently if you were breastfed or bottle fed as a baby," Becca asks.

"Has anyone asked you recently if you were born vaginally, or via c-section or if your mum had an epidural? 

“Has anyone ever asked you if you co-slept with your mum when you were a baby? Has anyone asked you what age you were potty trained at? 

“You can see where I'm going with this, so don't beat yourself up about this stuff as it can feel so important to do it all at the right time and in the right way. 

“I promise you, it really doesn't matter in the long term, as long as you do your best.”

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"You're doing a brilliant job!"

Becca added a caption to her powerful words to explain she is not trying to dismiss anyone’s current concerns.

“I'm not minimising the trauma that many of us (me included) go through when we don’t get the kind of birth we so badly hope for, or we can’t feed our babies the way that the doctors, the books and society say we should. 

“That disappointment and that anguish is VERY real.

“But if you tried your best then that is literally ALL you can do. And I just wanted to reassure you that your beautiful child will love you just the same and no one, least of all them, will care about these things.

“And if no one told you today, you’re doing a brilliant job. Pass it on.”

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"Thank you for the SANITY!"

The post has been viewed millions of times and most of the comments thank Becca for her straightforward advice that brings some perspective to parenting.

“Thanks, I really needed to hear that today,” said one mum.

“Thank you for the SANITY,” says another.

“I can't tell you how often I have beat myself up because ‘I didn't’ or ‘I did.’”

One mum of an adult son reflects on how hard she found early motherhood.

“Oh this is so good,” she writes to Becca.

“My son is 18 now and I remember crying because I couldn’t afford the nice pram and a Jumperoo (I know, mad right?) It doesn’t matter now!”

“That’s my favourite new mum advice,” comments another mum on TikTok.

“No one asks at kindergarten registration if baby was formula or breastfed, co slept or in a crib etc.”

Others felt that maybe Becca’s advice did not apply if you needed to see a medical specialist for your child in the future.

“Funny, but I was diagnosed with epilepsy in my 20s and every specialist I’ve seen has asked me all of these things.”

But even the healthcare workers had differing opinions.

“I’m a midwife so I don’t think this video was meant for me, but I wholeheartedly agree!”

You're doing a brilliant job mamma. Pass it on.

Originally published as Ponder this: ‘Has anyone asked you recently if you were born vaginally?’