New mum stunned by friends' 'badly mannered' kids

 “As mum to a five-year-old, I think this is feral as f**k!”

Image: iStock.

Becoming a mum can be a joyful but bewildering time of adjustment. It can also be a logistically challenging time as family and friends wish to pay you and your new baby a visit. 

While one mum was happy to have friends come to see her and her newborn, something she wasn’t expecting was the behaviour of other people’s kids in her house.

“Just an observation but it really annoyed me and honestly I was surprised, “ she wrote on Mumsnet.

“We recently had our first baby and as a result have had a lot of visitors, friends and family and of course people have brought their kids along and that's all fine.

“But any children that have been in my home recently have literally been allowed to roam around the house by their parents without an eye batted."

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"They switched on everything they could"

The mum explained how two of the visiting kids wandered off upstairs to her bedroom and the parents didn't see anything wrong with that.

“Another was let in and out the front door multiple times and knocked on it repeatedly while the baby was trying to sleep in the next room. While another came into the living room and switched on everything they could touch.”

The new mum asked the forum if this was normal - or if she was being unreasonable to expect better behaviour from her friends’ kids.

“I just can't imagine letting my kids roam around someone's house I'm visiting, touch whatever they want and make as much noise as they want? Surely parents have to have some control and manners on their kids?”

There were many comments with advice and one child-free woman had this to say: “Kids are curious wee creatures. It's how they learn.

"I speak as someone with no children but I knew if a visit from family would involve little people, it was best all round to remove objects I might not want broken/defaced, to put child locks on cupboards containing child killing products then everyone can just chill.

"Come back to your post in five years and see if you still feel the same.”

One mum replied very directly to this notion of everyone just 'chilling': “As mum to a five-year-old, I think it's feral as f**k to let your kids wander around someone's home like that.”

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"They are now ex-friends"

Many other commenters had their own experience of similar situations of roaming kids with one user writing that she had lost friends over it. 

“I had one set of (now ex) friends who not only allowed their kids to do this, but did it themselves too. They would wander the house, including the adults’ bedroom and pick up stuff (not toys) to give to the kids to play with with an excited 'look what I’ve found'.

“One of the multitude of reasons they’re now ex-friends.”

Another agreed that it is not okay to let kids wander freely: “I’m 25 years down the line and I do not agree. It’s extremely bad manners not to parent your children when they are in someone else’s house. I would not have let mine wander like that.”

One asked the OP if any boundaries were set when he guests arrived.

“No this isn't acceptable. However, why didn't you just say 'can you stay downstairs please?'

“It's your house. You make the rules.”

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"I like a relaxed and happy vibe"

Another mum had a more relaxed approach with a sneaky way of setting boundaries with visiting kids.

“Depends on the age(s) of visiting child/ren for me. I like a relaxed, happy vibe in my house and wouldn't want visiting parents to feel they had to jump up every five seconds to wrangle young kids back to their seats.

“I do admit though, in order to discourage one youngster from heading up to the third floor of my house (I was more concerned about him falling down very steep stairs rather than any damage to any objects), I told him we couldn't go up there as it belonged to the man next door and he got very angry if we went up there.

"He gave me the look and said 'I don't really believe you - but, okay'.

"Job done."

Originally published as New mum stunned by friends' 'badly mannered' kids