My stepdaughter is smarter than my bio children; it will ruin their self-esteem

“It's not ‘fair’ to kneecap one child, so another can pretend they won the race.”

Married for a few years, Jack* and Rachel*, have built a beautiful life together. 

Together, they share four children, including Rachel’s three children from a previous relationship, 16-year-old Dylan*, 12yo Lola* and 9yo Mitchell*; Jack has only one daughter, 12yo Pippa*, who is his pride and joy. 

While Rachel loves her stepdaughter, she has a serious issue with her education. 

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Pippa has been excelling in maths. Picture: iStock

Mum slams stepdaughter for being smarter than her bio kids

See, Pippa attends an “advanced school” and recently got offered a “fast-track program where she learns Algebra 2 and calculus at the same time”.

You’d think Rachel would be proud of her stepdaughter for her academic achievements, but you’d be wrong. In fact, she had the opposite reaction. 

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“I have two issues with this,” she said on Reddit. “First, my son is only in Algebra 2 and already struggling.”

In Rachel’s mind, “having his little sister in a higher maths class than him is going to negatively affect his confidence”. 

Another issue Rachel raised was the impact it would have on her younger children. “It's going to set up unrealistic expectations for my younger two to follow, and they might feel jealous,” she said. 

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When Jack spoke to Rachel about the advanced maths class, she explained why she didn’t want Pippa to move ahead. “I told him my concerns about my kids as to why I think my [stepdaughter] shouldn't join because of the effects on my kids,” she said. 

Jack said he would “look into it”, leaving Rachel under the impression that he would move his daughter out of the maths class altogether. However, a few days later, while the family were eating dinner, Pippa began talking about what she'd been learning in the advanced class. 

“Of course, I was angry and talked to my husband after dinner about this,” Rachel said. But in response, Jack told his wife that he was only thinking of his daughter’s “best needs” and said, “gifted kids having more needs and not being a choice between us but him and his ex”. 

Rachel was “fed up” with her husband at this point and argued he was blatantly putting his own “child's needs over mine's wellbeing”. 

Things got worse when Pippa was accepted into the advanced high school, which Rachel tried to prevent. “I didn't want her to go because of the effects on my children,” she said. But Jack shut her down and told Rachel that his daughter would attend anyway. 

“I don't want [Pippa] talking about her school too often because of the same reason, but my husband decided to go out of his way to talk about it,” Rachel lamented. “Each decision my husband makes about [Pippa] can affect my kids' confidence and self-esteem, but he never gives concern to that.”

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“It's not ‘fair’ to kneecap one child”

People were left scratching their heads over Rachel’s concerns, arguing she was dimming the child’s light for no reason. 

“So you want to hold your stepdaughter back from achieving whatever she can in life because your son isn't as good?” a person asked. “It's not ‘fair’ to kneecap one child, so another can pretend they won the race.”

“All your kids are going to be good at different things. Embrace that, teach your kids to embrace that, and no one will need to be jealous,” said another. 

“Teach your kids that they don't get things just because someone else does,” a third penned. 

One comment read: “You’re the a**hole for expecting him to neglect his daughter's needs because you're worried your children will be hurt by that.”

“You really think she should be held back from reaching her full potential just because you are jealous of her talent and potential, and your kids might pick up on and mimic your attitude?” a baffled person asked.

Others took issue with Rachel slamming her husband for not re-aligning his priorities. 

“Think about it, you’re accusing him of putting his kid before yours,” read a comment. “When in reality, he’s doing what‘a best for his kid. But in reality, you’re asking him to put your kids before his.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My stepdaughter is smarter than my bio children; it will ruin their self-esteem