My son tried to take his life after bullying. The school’s response shocked me

"I never imagined in a million years that they would handle things as they did. Hearing Charlotte's story this week was devastating." Please note: sensitive topics

That fateful night, I walked into my 13-year-old's room and saw something I'll never recover from.

My son was sitting on his bed, his head in his hands, sobbing with big body convulsions.

"Why don't they like me?" he asked, more to himself than to me.

I hate to admit that I was paralysed for a moment... but only because I didn't think I could bear to see him like that for even one more second. 

As I sat down to hold him, I saw the empty pill packets on his bed.

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"They were stunningly cruel"

I knew my son was being bullied at school.

There was a group of boys who would whisper abuse as he walked past them to get to his desk, push him up against lockers, spread gossip.

There were stunningly cruel, and enjoyed being so. They were too 'smart' to put anything in writing on social media. Their plan was to torment my son insidiously.

The days my son came home and reported that nothing had happened, my spirits soared with hope.

Of course, he was lying. 

At night, I would grapple with that common parenting dilemma: how much do you involve yourself in your teen's troubles? 

I was adamant there should be a record, at least. My son fought me on that, claiming speaking to the school would make things worse for him.

"This is not normal," I'd tell him.

"This is not normal behaviour even from so-called kids. There is something wrong with people who spend so much effort being mean."

He would look at me helplessly. 

Ultimately, I had to trust my own instincts to protect him.

Image: supplied

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"The girls denied it. Case closed."

As I walked into the school for a meeting with the principal, I was bracing for a fight. 

Every week there is a case about schools not moving soon enough or hard enough on bullying. Their claim is not enough proof, or even defer the behaviour to parents to sort out if it's on social media.

This week, the story involves a gorgeous little Charlotte (she's 12, but still a baby in my eyes).

Charlotte took her life after unbearable bullying by girls at her school. Her parents wrote in a public letter: 

"When the most recent case of bullying was raised, the school simply said it was investigated and the girls denied it. That’s it. Case closed. Move on."

I was expecting that attitude, and to be gaslighted, at my son's school.

I was not expecting the swift action that was promised, and followed through on.

A letter issued to parents about Charlotte, by nearby school, PLC. Picture: Supplied

"Suicidal ideation is an emergency"

The principal told me that there's a strict process for handling suicidal ideation.

"It's considered an emergency," was one of the first things he said to me.

I couldn't believe we were being believed. 

My son was given priority to the counsellor, time and comfort from the principal. A safety plan was devised, to ensure he was never alone between classes, or on the school grounds or bus.

He was given access to certain bathrooms.

A meeting was held to brief every teacher about what had happened, and which students were involved.

Finally, what was happening to my son was on the record.

He was treated with the utmost of respect. The situation with the bullies was handled 'sensitively' - there were absolutely no negative consequences for him.

It was made clear to my beautiful boy that he had options, and taking his own life was not one of them. 

I cannot tell you what these actions did for my son's confidence and self-esteem.

He was backed, believed, and believed in. Immediately.

Charlotte's school has now said that the bullying allegations "are extremely serious and are being treated as such."

Rest in peace now, darling girl.

Originally published as My son tried to take his life after bullying. The school’s response shocked me