‘My mother-in-law won’t stop buying girly, frilly baby clothes... I hate it’

“I asked for cute, comfy gender-neutral clothes and all I get are pink, itchy, frilly things,” the frustrated mum reveals.

Pilar Grace

2 min read

May 27, 2024 - 9:35PM

How to deal with toxic family members (especially mother & father-in-laws)

Parenting

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I have a bone to pick with the makers of children’s clothes, and I know I’m not the only one.

Raising three boys, I noticed from the first item of clothing we put on their little chubby bodies, boys’ clothes are practical and made for movement, girls’ clothes are made for cuteness, and often even impede movement.

I remember my friend’s baby daughter wearing this awful, flammable-looking tutu during a playdate. The little girl wouldn’t stop screaming and all I could think was that crispy skirt must be so itchy.

I’ve seen kids at playgrounds, little boys tearing around in their practical shoes, little girls hobbling around, their sock-less feet blistered inside their sparkly Mary-Janes.

It’s not all girls and boys, but it’s enough that you notice it, and you feel sorry for the girls.

Samira* was expecting a baby in a couple of months, and even though she’d specifically asked her mother-in-law for gender-neutral clothing, the excited grandma visited with “bags full of pink, frilly girls’ clothes”, she explained in a Reddit post.

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Samira couldn't stand the frilly clothes her mother-in-law was buying for her baby. Photo: iStock

Mother-in-law refuses to buy gender-neutral baby clothes

Samira said her desire for gender-neutral clothes wasn’t just about gender, it was about buying natural materials and generally trying to have less of an impact on the planet.

"I stay away from plastic and non-sustainable materials as much as possible," she said. "I'm also not the most feminine person, and the idea of gendered children's clothes always really bothered me. Even since I was a teenager I wanted to avoid that when it came time to have my own baby."

Her mother-in-law wasn’t on board and went a bit nuts shopping. Samira hates almost everything she bought, but feels that if she doesn’t use it, it will be wasteful.

“Every single item just screams ‘grandma’ or ‘I’m a girl’.”

Reddit responds to mum’s gendered clothing woes

The community was supportive and advised Samira to balance going the path of least resistance with getting her own way.

“I would go through and sort out what you want and donate the rest,” one person said. “It’s not your fault she spent that money when you told her not to. Donate it all and move on like it never happened.”

Another person suggested Samira sell the pieces.

“I do my best to sell it all and then buy what I actually wanted.”

But others said this pattern wouldn’t stop at baby clothes.

“Do you think what she has bought will be the end of it?” one person asked. “You have to speak up because keeping your mouth shut is only encouraging your mother-in-law.”