My family refused to do one thing to celebrate my baby’s birthday, it’s so rude

“I specifically sought clearance to plan for this day, and if there was already a plan, it should've been communicated then so we could reschedule…”

A baby's first birthday is one of the most significant in a child’s and parent’s life. 

Between planning the event and organising a gift for their little one, parents are usually up to their eyeballs trying to make the event special. 

For James*, his child’s first birthday had to be perfect, and he wanted everyone in the family to be there. But there was one major problem. 

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The birthday party was supposed to take place on Father's Day. Picture: iStock

"We might as well just have the b’day party on Father's Day"

His child’s first birthday falls on the Monday just after Father’s Day, which is this coming Sunday in America.

Typically, on Father’s Day, James’ family organises a big catch-up at the family home; everyone is invited, there’s food, and everyone has a great time. 

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So when James asked everyone what date would work best for her child’s birthday, he was ecstatic when someone suggested they combine Father’s Day and the birthday into one event. 

“If we're going to get together anyway, we might as well just have the b’day party that day,” his relative said. 

Happily, James confirmed the birthday party for his child would take place at 1pm that Sunday. “Great!” he excitedly wrote on Reddit. 

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Then things came crashing down. 

See, James didn’t expect to have his sister Hannah* send a message to the family group chat a few weeks later. 

“We are planning a Father's Day brunch at our place at 10.30am,” the message read. 

“After staring at this msg in disbelief for a good minute, I state that, as we discussed, we will be hosting baby's bday that afternoon, and we won't be able to do both,” he said. 

James and his partner were “baffled” by Hannah’s sudden plans to organise a Father’s Day brunch (on Father’s Day) before their child’s party. “We literally cannot attend their family event because we'll be setting up our family event at another location,” he said. 

Messaging back, James explained he organised the date and time early so he could avoid any clashes, which ended up happening anyway. “I tried to highlight that we couldn't attend this if we wanted to, and the whole thing was rather confusing and hurtful,” he said. 

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In response, Hannah apologised to her brother and explained they “always” host a Father’s Day event at their house, and considering it’s Father’s Day and her kids adore the brunch, she didn’t want to cancel it. 

But James wasn’t interested in an apology; he wanted them not to host a Father’s Day brunch at all. 

It was his child’s first birthday party, and that should take priority since he organised it weeks ago. 

“I specifically sought clearance to plan for this day, and if there was already a plan, it should've been communicated then so we could reschedule,” James said to his sister. 

“I did not understand that you meant the rest of my day wasn't free to myself,” Hannah hit back. 

After a back-and-forth with his sister, James eventually had enough. “At this point, I kinda blew up,” he said, ending his final message to his sister with, “Ignorant. Obtuse. Insensitive. Call it what you will.” 

Without another word, James’ sister and her husband left the group chat. “I feel like years of growth and connection just got torpedoed,” James said, defeated. 

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“That's just bad form”

While most people understood that a first birthday party was an important event to organise and attend, the idea of cancelling Father’s Day was a little too far. 

“You thought everyone was clearing the entire 24 hours of Father's Day for your baby's party?” someone asked. “Or you thought everyone was going to celebrate Father's Day at your baby's party?”

“You scheduled a bday party for a 1yo on another holiday and are baffled that someone is celebrating that holiday?” another perplexed person asked. 

“That's just bad form,” said a third. 

Others wondered how the family would even celebrate Father’s Day if they were barred from organising any other event. 

“When were you going to get together with your siblings to honour your dad?” someone asked. 

“It's FATHER'S day to recognise every father that would've been invited,” said another.

“But let's push them off because it's your child.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My family refused to do one thing to celebrate my baby’s birthday, it’s so rude