'My daughter was pushed by another kid at the playground. I regret how I handled the situation'

My daughter burst into tears and I almost did too.

One minute I was cuddling my newborn baby; the next, she was three and being pushed over by another kid at a playground.

When this happened to my daughter, I avoided going back to that playground because I wanted to protect her. 

My baby girl was being hurt, and I thought that removing her from the situation was the best way to deal with it. 

After all, I sometimes handle conflict in my own life by completely avoiding it. 

But since I’ve had time to reflect, I think that facing the situation could have been a good learning experience for everyone involved, including myself. 

I avoided going back to that playground because I wanted to protect her. Image: Supplied

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“The first time my daughter was pushed, she got really upset”

I took my daughter to the same local playground on the same day every week, and we got to know other parents and kids who went there at the same time.

My daughter had become friendly with a girl who was a similar age, and they always played together. 

But then one day everything changed. The other kid forcefully pushed my daughter with both hands, causing her to fall to the ground. 

My daughter burst into tears and I almost did too. The girl’s mum seemed mortified that her daughter had pushed mine.

After I spoke to my daughter and the other kid apologised to her, they happily resumed playing together. 

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“I thought we’d moved past it, but then it happened another two times”

The following week, my daughter and I went back to the same playground, and it happened again. 

My daughter looked surprised but didn’t cry. She told the other kid that she didn’t like it and asked her to stop. Then they went back to playing. 

I assumed it was behind us, but then it happened again on our very next playground visit. This time, my daughter was pushed while she was standing at the top of the slide. Once again, two hands, and a big push, knocking her off her feet.

My heart stopped because I thought my daughter was going to fall off the playground equipment. She was fine, but this time I knew I didn’t want it to happen again. 

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“I stopped going to the playground, but now I regret it”

Instead of dealing with the situation, I avoided going to the same playground for a few months.

My protective instincts took over. I didn’t want my daughter being friends with someone who repeatedly pushed her. 

The way I reacted was influenced by my past experiences. If there’s any sign of conflict, I tend to run a million miles in the other direction.

Now I have regrets about how I handled the playground incident because it could have been a good learning opportunity. 

For example, I could have spoken to the other mum to find a way to prevent the behaviour in the future, or discussed strategies with my daughter for when we returned to the playground. 

I realised that how I respond to situations like this could impact on my daughter’s perception of conflict resolution. 

Going forward, I'll try to use uncomfortable moments like these as opportunities to not only support my daughter, but also to rewrite my own narrative around conflict.

But that’s the thing with parenting (and life, really), I’m still learning all of the time. 

I also shouldn’t be so hard on myself for how I’ve dealt with past situations, but focus on how I respond next time something difficult happens.

Originally published as 'My daughter was pushed by another kid at the playground. I regret how I handled the situation'