‘My daughter has four pairs of shoes and her dad thinks I’m spoiling her’

“I’m all for teaching her to overcome struggle, but I grew up poor and I want her to have the best,” the mum reveals.

Growing up, Rowena didn't have much, so she wants to make sure her daughter gets everything she wants. Photo: iStock

It’s the aspiration of almost every parent to give their kids a better life than the one they had.

That’s why people move away from family to raise their kids in new countries; that’s why people send their kids to the best schools they can find; and sometimes that’s why people buy their kids exorbitant gifts.

I have a friend who had a disadvantaged upbringing. Her mum was a teenager when she had her, and it was just the two of them, without much money.

Now that my friend is grown up, she buys her kids whatever they ask for.

New toys? Takeaway? She even makes big financial decisions like where to live and what car to drive based on her kids’ input.

It might not be the best thing for the kids, but my friend remembers what it’s like to not have enough, and she never wants her kids to feel that.

Rowena* lives by the same principle and makes sure that her daughter wants for nothing.

“I’m an engineer, have a great career… I grew up in a less-than-ideal family while my husband’s was idyllic,” she said in a Reddit post.

“Since we can afford it, I make sure my eight-year-old daughter doesn’t want for anything.”

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Growing up, Rowena didn't have much, so she wants to make sure her daughter gets everything she wants. Photo: iStock

Successful mum spoils daughter

Rowena didn’t think it did any harm, but her husband did .

“My husband is worried I give her too much,” she said. “She has a pair of winter boots, school shoes and two pairs of trainers. He thinks that’s too many pairs.

“I want to get her face wash, he asks why can’t she just use soap?”

Rowena said that she understood where her husband was coming from, that he wanted her daughter to learn to overcome struggles.

“But I don’t know how to MAKE her struggle unnecessarily.”

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Most commenters saw no problem with Rowena providing for her daughter.

“If you can afford some face wash, get the kid some face wash. You’re not drenching her in diamonds,” one person said.

“FOUR pairs of shoes? OP is creating a mini maniacal Imelda Marcos here!” another person joked. “Just kidding, obviously. No kid ever became an a**hole because they had too many pairs of shoes.”

“I’m a low income, single mum and my daughter has winter boots, rain boots, trainers, dress shoes and sandals. Different weather means different shoes,” a third person said. “I do however believe in telling her ‘no’. And I truly believe she is not spoiled. Getting your child what they need is not spoiling them.”

Originally published as ‘My daughter has four pairs of shoes and her dad thinks I’m spoiling her’