My 5-year-old was accused of 'outshining' the bride the day after a wedding

"My husband is a surgeon, and I love to throw extravagant parties," a mum has explained in defense of the expensive birthday celebration she threw for her child the very next morning.

When you have a big family, it's inevitable that special occasions will clash.

For example, when King Charles held his coronation on Archie's birthday earlier this year. A tad awkward; that's life.

But one woman this week took advantage of having family in town to throw an extravagant party for her young daughter the day after a wedding - and people are not understanding about it at all.

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"My daughter 'outshined' the bride"

Taking to a parenting forum, the mum asked, "AITA for 'outshining' my SIL's wedding by throwing an extravagant birthday party for my five-year-old daughter a day after?"

"SIL and most of her family is upset with me because of a recent situation. My brother got married with SIL at a small church by our house. My daughter’s birthday was the day right after and it was perfect because all the family was in town anyways for the wedding.

"My husband is a surgeon, and he loves to spoil our daughters and I love planning parties, so I booked a really nice garden venue and made it a princess carnival theme for all the kids and adults to enjoy together.

"It was a beautiful event but towards the end of it, I got pulled into the bathroom where SIL was upset and crying saying a 5-year-old outshone her wedding. Then she got mad at me saying it was disrespectful to schedule the birthday party near her wedding time and not talk to her about.

"However, it’s not like I can change the day my daughter’s birthday falls on and SIL was invited to my daughter’s birthday weeks in advance so it’s not like I dropped it on her last minute. I think it’s pretty crazy she’s getting jealous over a little girl but a lot of family is on her side."

Image: iStock

RELATED: Why young kids should be at more weddings

"You took advantage of them"

There was a minority in the comments who were empathetic to the mum.

"Honestly, I have a hard time relating to the 'It’s my special day and no one else can have as good a day as me' wedding stuff. I understand getting upset about a guest wearing white or not matching themes or when relatives act stupid at weddings. But, some of this stuff is just crazy. I’ve never gotten worked up about such things myself," one wrote.

"In this situation, her special day was over. The next day was a little girl's birthday and she wanted a princess party. If you don’t want a birthday celebration next to your wedding, don’t choose the day before your niece’s birthday. They, two adults, chose their wedding date. The child didn’t choose her birthdate. Were they supposed to pretend she didn’t have a birthday this year? If that woman is upset, remind her that she made the schedule.

"Don’t let it bother you for one more second. The magic of being little is short lived. Your new SIL has the rest of her life to find more things to be miserable about. You only have a short time for magical princess parties."

Another added, "Think about it in 10 years they’re gonna wanna celebrate their 10-year anniversary but it’ll be close to niece’s 16th birthday or 15th and what? She’s gonna pissy and jealous with that? SIL is gonna have to understand this is what she chose to have for her anniversary."

But that such supportive comments were few and far between, with the majority being very blunt.

"You took advantage of them bringing family to town. You made sure everyone spent the wedding keeping an eye on their drinking and what time they were out until. You didn't even run the plans by her," one wrote.

"This post also glaringly has zero mention of your daughter. That this theme or extravagant party was important to her."

Another made this harsh assessment: "What she’s really saying is that the birthday was much more extravagant than the modest wedding. Let the bride and groom get one weekend that’s about them.

"Throwing a bigger and better party the day after is cruel and selfish. The kid would have been fine with something more modest, or waiting a week. This party was for the parents and it was deeply inconsiderate."

Originally published as My 5-year-old was accused of 'outshining' the bride the day after a wedding