My 11yo spent pocket money on a friend’s bday, then wasn’t invited to the party

“Blimey. I think that would upset quite a few adults, let alone an 11-year-old.”

For the last eight years, Diana* has watched the friendship between her 11-year-old daughter Brooke* and friend Nat* blossom.

Two years ago, the best friends became close with another girl at school, Katie*; the three quickly became inseparable. 

But a recent birthday party threw the entire friendship into the ground. 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

Brooke was the only one not invited to her friend's birthday party. Picture: iStock

“Brooke was heartbroken”

Diana explained on Mumsnet that her daughter has access to a mobile phone, but because she can “spend a lot of time in isolation” and has a small contact list, she usually only keeps in touch with her two friends, Nat and Katie. 

Her mum also frequently “monitors” what her daughter watches and does on her phone, and has never noticed anything amiss. 

RELATED: She expected me to shout her friends because 'the man always pays'

However, this all changed three months ago. 

“A few months ago, [Nat’s] mum decided that the girls could not chat together as a trio anymore,” Diana wrote. “There was no real reason but stated it was because she didn’t like Katie.”

“Katie is more mature than Brooke and Nat, apparently,” she added. 

Introducing our new podcast: Mum Club! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

Diana explained that her 11yo daughter has autism and is a “timid” and shy girl who loves spending her time and money on those closest to her, including her two best friends.  Recently, Brooke “spent a lot of her pocket money on both Nat and Katie for their birthdays”, which she gave to her friends at a recent event they all attended. 

However, over the weekend, Brooke and Nat were hanging out and playing on their phones when Nat explained she had to leave for a “birthday party”; she didn’t mention whose party she was attending, which was “fair enough”. 

But an hour later, Brooke received a call from Nat, who revealed she was actually at Katie’s birthday party. Everyone was there - even the parents - all except Brooke; she’d spent all her money on a birthday gift for her friend, and she wasn’t even invited to the girl’s party. 

“Brooke was heartbroken,” mum Diana wrote. “They were showing them their dances, and I cut the call off.” Following the awkward interaction, Diana reached out to Katie’s parents and confronted them about the lack of an invitation. 

“I messaged the parents and said that it was absolutely fine that [Brooke] was not invited, but I felt it was quite mean and had upset Brooke,” she said. The fact that the two girls had concealed the plans about the party, only to “call her during it to show her” was cruel. 

In response, Katie’s parents dismissed Diana’s anger and labelled 11yo Brooke as too “sensitive”, and the girls weren’t trying to be mean; they “just wanted to talk to her”. 

To twist the knife a little further, Katie’s parents said Diana “has her work cut out” for her if  Brooke is “so upset over” not being invited to her best friend’s birthday party. 

RELATED: ‘My best friend won’t stop making nasty comments about my parenting choices’

“That is absolutely sh**ty behaviour”

Other parents were horrified by the lack of sympathy for Brooke and argued that Diana had every right to cut her daughter off from the other girls. 

“I wouldn't have let that phone call happen if I was a parent of the other child,” a comment read. “I think that would upset quite a few adults, let alone an 11-year-old.” 

“Your daughter is not being sensitive,” said another. “They knew exactly what they were doing when they rang.” 

A third added: “Blimey. That's either very mean or shows a remarkable lack of empathy.”

Some called the friends’ parents “callous” for their actions, with others claiming they were acting out of “ignorance”. 

“Mean children and mean parents,” a person shared “I'm not surprised your poor girl is upset.”

“That is absolutely sh**ty behaviour,” a woman added. “I couldn’t continue friendships with either the children or parents that think this is OK.” 

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My 11yo spent pocket money on a friend’s bday, then wasn’t invited to the party