Mum's plea on kids party invite to stop 'entitled' guest behaviour

"I was exhausted! It was a big lesson."

Image: iStock.

Kids birthday party etiquette can be tricky to navigate - for both the hosts and the guests. From ‘no gift’ parties to registry based gift lists, party bag protocol and parties that last for SEVEN hours: kids’ party etiquette is sure complicated in 2024.

A mum of twin boys was seeking some etiquette advice concerning her kids’ party invitations after an unfortunate situation unfolded last year that she was not prepared for.

“I have twin boys and their birthday is coming up soon,” the mum shares in the original post on Reddit.

“Since they are twins we give them each five invitations each to hand out to their friends, which if all their friends that they invite end up showing up would be 10 kids in total.”

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

RELATED: My ex-wife is banning our daughter from using this one word

"Please no extra siblings"

She says that this year she wants to add a disclaimer that reads, "please no extra siblings" on each invite because of what went down in 2023.

“Last year when they handed out their invitations I didn't even think about putting this disclaimer on them because the thought never even crossed my mind.

“But what ended up happening is when the day of the party came and kids began to show up, two sets of parents not only dropped off the child that got an invitation but they also dropped off their other kids as well - the kids' siblings.”

So not only were there extra kids requiring food and entertainment but the parents did not stay to help or watch the extras, which understandably rubbed the original poster up the wrong way. 

“I gave my kids 10 invitations and more than 10 kids ended up showing up without my knowledge that they would be. So not wanting the same thing to happen again this year I put the note at the bottom of the invitation to request ‘no extra siblings’, which I personally don't see a problem with. 

“But a few family members said that it may come off as a bit rude or unreasonable to write it on the invitation… But I just don't want other kids that aren't actually friends with my kids showing up to their birthday party.”

Introducing our new podcast: Mum Club! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

RELATED: If you ‘spank’ your kids, you’re parenting wrong and I know why

"Rude and entitled"

The replies were a mix of contempt for the parents who thought it was okay to bring siblings and advice on how to reword her disclaimer.

One got straight to the point by writing: “How rude and entitled. You are definitely NOT the a**hole. Those parents are though.”

Another felt the same and had an idea on how to soften the blow with the disclaimer. 

“It is unfortunate that people are so entitled and self centered that you have to communicate ‘no extra people’, but unfortunately that is where we are as a society.

“Saying ‘no extra siblings’ is clear but somewhat blunt, and would likely cause upset particularly if people who brought extra siblings are also invited this year.

“You might consider softening and broadening the statement. Something to the effect of, ‘We look forward to having X join us to celebrate twin 1 and twin 2's birthdays, but unfortunately we cannot accommodate any additional friends or family members and understand if X is unable to join due to this.’”

Another respondent felt that these parents had really got a lot to answer for.

“A child’s invitation to a party isn’t a babysitting event for other children. It’s not even a ‘break’ because parents should be readily accessible for anything that can occur during a birthday party.

“And on the flip side of this, I always ask when my four-year-old is invited if it’s a family event and her two-year-old sister is allowed, or just a one kid only event. I have no expectations one way or another. I just have to be able to make reasonable plans for my family. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be clear on the invite.”

RELATED: ‘Unheard of’: Sneaky reason woman forced to move plane seats

"I was exhausted"

One mum had her own tale of party woe to share.

“I threw a princess party with face painters and such when my youngest was eight. I invited 15 kids from her class and 43 kids showed up. All the siblings wanted their faces painted.

"I was exhausted. It was a big lesson.”

With one mum concluding that when dealing with entitled parents, it is actually okay to be blunt.

“It is sad that some of the commentators here have to discuss kinder ways to say 'no extras', but guess what? People who drop off extra siblings at parties don’t have manners and don’t catch subtleties!

"They need to be told point blank that you can’t drop off all your kids.” 

Originally published as Mum's plea on kids party invite to stop 'entitled' guest behaviour