If you want to see my baby at Christmas, it’s on you to make the effort

“My MIL would guilt my husband into staying, which means I don’t get to see my parents, so we lie and say we’ll visit on Boxing Day instead.”

Christmas is about spending quality time with your family, enjoying a delicious feast, and opening presents.

Not checking your watch every 15 minutes and spending most of the day in the car, dashing from one place to another.

Before I had a baby, I would indulge the multi-visit escapades across Sydney, but that’s not to say I enjoyed it.

Now, with a child of my own, I’ve decided taking her from place to place, in and out of the car seat (you know the feeling!), just isn’t how I want to spend my Christmas, so, it’s not going to happen.

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Onto the next destination…

My parents live four hours away, and my in-laws are an hour.

Then there are the aunts and uncles, cousins and family friends who range from 20-45 minutes away.

If everyone had it their way, we’d be back in the car every two hours, not even having digested our meal before moving on to the next visit.

Everyone gets to stay comfortably put in their home while my family and I battle Christmas day traffic.

The onus is on you

This year, we’ve decided we’re keeping the movement to an absolute minimum.

Christmas morning and lunch with the in-laws and then afternoon and dinner with my uncle, whose house is conveniently located in between.

The following day, we will pack the car, head to my parents' place, and not move until the new year.

I’ve let everyone else know where and when we’ll be somewhere and that they are welcome to come to us for a visit.

If you want a visit, you gotta make the effort.

It’s no longer my responsibility to cater to everyone happy to do the bare minimum while I wear the people-pleaser hat, trying my best to keep everyone content.

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Getting from A to B with a baby in tow is one challenge, so adding in C, D, and E is a whole other story. Source: iStock

A mixed bag of reactions

I reached out to a handful of friends to ask if I was being a little harsh, and I surprisingly got a mixed bag of reactions.

“I lie and tell my in-laws we have to work, and we spend the whole day with my family,” one friend revealed.

“My MIL would guilt my husband into staying, which means I don’t get to see my parents, so we lie and say we’ll visit on Boxing Day instead.”  

“I totally agree with you,” said another.

“I’m tired of everyone sending orders with no awareness of what it means for me.”

However, not everyone was in agreement.

“I think it’s nice people want to see us,” expressed another.

“I’d rather do the highlights tour and make sure I get around to celebrating with as many people as I can.”

She also doesn’t have kids, so make of that what you will.

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Quality over quantity

By spending more quality time with people this Christmas, I’ll be able to focus on properly catching up, taking my time with eating and doing what Christmas is all about, making memories.

Plus, it also means I only have to make two desserts, not six!

Originally published as If you want to see my baby at Christmas, it’s on you to make the effort