I wouldn't feed my baby in the car when we were stuck in traffic

"My husband was furious and said I should just take her out of the seat to feed her - but the car was still moving." What would you have done in this situation?

Travelling with kids is challenging, as any parent who's attempted it knows. Even short trips in the car can be tricky; for example, what happens when a baby is ready for a feed, but the traffic has other plans? Do you remove the child to feed her or let her scream to keep her safe?

That's the dilemma one mum faced on her recent family vacation.

Her baby began screaming to be fed, her toddler started losing it, but they were stuck in traffic. The woman's husband, who was driving, wanted her to take the baby out of the car seat to feed her, but the mum's instinct was that it was unsafe.

"While we were sitting in traffic, both kids started crying," she wrote in a parenting advice group.

"This is typical for them sitting in traffic - they’re happier when we’re moving. It was also about the time that our four-month-old should be starting to get hungry and she began to cry. My husband mentioned a couple of times that I should just take her out of her car seat and feed her.

"We were only going a few kms/hour in stop-and-go traffic on an icy road surrounded by semi-trucks. There was an exit coming up that would take about 10 minutes to get to, and I decided I’d wait until we could get off the freeway and pull over."

"By the time we got to the exit, traffic had started to pick up again, and our youngest wasn’t crying anymore, so my husband kept driving."

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There is no excuse to take a baby out of their seat

"A few minutes later, we were in stop-and-go again, and she was crying again. He ended up angrily pulling over and feeding her himself (at that point, he wouldn’t let me, and I was worried if I was feeding her, he’d keep driving again anyway).

"He maintains that I was being “psycho” and “neglectful” for not wanting to get her out of her car seat when we were driving while she was clearly hungry. I feel that traffic can pick back up unexpectedly, and we were in conditions that didn’t feel safe, even if we were going so slowly," she concludes. 

She also noted in an edit that she had tried to feed the child in the backseat, but it was unsafe for her. Now she was wondering if she did the right thing.

Commenters on the post were outraged on the mum's behalf.

"You do NOT take a baby out of their car seat in a moving car. End of discussion. He’s neglectful for even suggesting it," said one response. 

While another wrote at length:  "Your husband is an AH. Even suggesting getting a baby out of their car seat in a moving vehicle. Not taking the opportunity to stop at the exit. His anger and the language he used towards you when he finally stopped."

Image: iStock

RELATED: Parents argue over risk of kids eating in the car

It's illegal to have an unrestrained baby

Others were quick to point out that a child needs to be in their car seat or booster at all times. 

"Not sure where you are - but here it’s illegal to not always have a baby in its car seat. Yes, it’s stressful having a screaming baby, but safety first," said one. 

"Car seats are a legal requirement for a reason. Stop-start traffic is dangerous, too, especially since people allow themselves to get distracted. You did the right thing, and your partner should have pulled over when the exit came up because they knew the baby was hungry. Sounds like they were taking their frustrations about the driving conditions on you," added another. 

One user who works as an EMT replied with a story that reassured the mother she made the right choice. 

"My coworkers just worked an accident where 2/3 UNRESTRAINED kids were ejected. No icy roads, no highway, just a drunk driver blowing through the intersection. One child was seizing on the way to the hospital (indicating a severe head injury), and the other had multiple fractures. I don't care what's going on or what you're doing, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR CHILDREN ARE RESTRAINED CORRECTLY."

The original poster replied and thanked the community for their messages and support.

"Thank you for the replies. If anything, this has given me the very necessary reminder that I need to do something about his distracted driving in the instances that I can control it, despite how he reacts, including being the only driver myself if necessary."

Is it safe to feed kids in the car?

Paramedic Nikki Jurcutz, co-founder of Tiny Hearts Education, a charity set up to help parents become confident in providing first aid to their children, posted a viral video about allowing children to eat in the car, because "choking is silent".

"If you're driving and concentrating on the road you are not going to hear it and not going to be aware, especially when your little one is rearward facing," Jurcutz said.

The mum added that she wouldn't even give her children liquid foods, such as yoghurt, if she was driving.

"The issue still remains at any age as it's silent and you're concentrating on the road.

"There have been situations where kids have choked on food or toys and the parents have only realised once they arrive at their destination when it's too late."

For more information about car safety, see the official government transport page in your state, and the Raising Children Network.

Originally published as I wouldn't feed my baby in the car when we were stuck in traffic