I told a mum the truth about why her son wasn't invited to a sleepover party

"She texted me to ask why he wasn't invited after hearing about it from other mums, so I decided to be honest. She then blocked me on everything." Would you have done what this mum did? #AITA

Eleanor Katelaris

3 min read

July 24, 2023 - 2:51PM

Primary School

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A mum is asking if she was in the wrong for telling another mum the truth about why her child wasn't invited to her son’s birthday sleepover.

And here’s the kicker: There isn't any issue with the kid himself, but it turns out the mum is actually the problem.

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Image: IStock

"I threatened to call the police"

The mum told a popular forum that she recently hosted a superhero-themed sleepover for her son's 10th birthday, just like she had in previous years.

However, the behaviour of one child's mum a couple of years ago caused her to rethink extending an invitation to that child this year.

The post begins with the mum describing how the other mum was five hours late to pick up her son, James, at her son's eighth birthday party.

She explicitly texted parents that all kids should be picked up by 11 am the next day. Despite this clear instruction, James' mother didn't collect him on time.

"We had five boys (including our son) at the party, and three of them were picked up by 11 am. At 11:30, I texted James' mum and asked if she was coming to get him, she said she was on her way," the mum explains.

When the morning stretched into the early afternoon, the OP reached out to James' mum again, who offered excuses about running errands and grabbing lunch. The OP kept waiting for her to show up, but there was no sign of her.

"By 2 pm I texted her again and let her know that she needs to pick up her son ASAP, that we were getting ready to leave in an hour and her son was not invited to come with us. We had plans to go to my in-laws for my son's birthday party, which was on his actual birthday," she writes.

"I had assumed that would prompt her to come to get him. By 4 pm my husband left with our kids to my in-laws, and I called James' mother. I left her a voicemail and told her that if she was not at my house in thirty minutes to pick up her son, I was calling the police to inform them that he was an abandoned child."

She then showed up within fifteen minutes to get him and made a half-assed apology about how she was busy with errands and running her other children to their activities.

James' mum texted her to ask why her son wasn't invited

Understandably, the incident left her feeling hesitant about inviting James again.

So when James' mum reached out to her to ask why he wasn't invited, after hearing about it from another mum, she decided to be honest about her reasons.

"I told her that her son was not invited because I was not sure if she would come get him in a timely manner and without disrupting our plans for the rest of the day. I explained that any time her son is at my house, she is always late to pick him up and I was tired of catering to her schedule," the mum explains.

James' mum then called her an "uppity bitch" and blocked her number and social media.

Now, the question arises: Was the OP in the wrong for telling James' mother the truth? Or was it unfair to punish the son for the mum's behaviour?

"She's using you for free daycare"

The post generated a range of reactions, with some users sympathising with the OP's frustration while others called her extreme.

"While it's important to communicate openly and honestly, maybe calling the police was a bit extreme," one user commented.

Others stood by her actions, pointing out that as a host, she has the right to set boundaries and expect parents to adhere to agreed-upon pick-up times.

Someone wrote: "You gave her an honest reason based on experience. Instead of saying 'You're right, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to have my child punished for my behaviour, so could you please give him/me another chance?' she responded with profanity and blocked you.

"That's a good way to ensure the poor kid will never be invited again - and no doubt other parents feel the same way."

Another said: "NTA- this mum sucks (to put it mildly). And I feel sorry for her kid. She was using you for free daycare and doesn’t care enough about her kid. It’s weird how she was able to pick up her kid in 15 minutes once the threats got real."

Then a third agreed: "It sucks that her kid has to pay the price, but picking up your kid five hours after the agreed-upon time is bullshit. She was 100% using you as a babysitter and was enjoying her day minus James."

Someone also pointed out, "NTA but you better explain the situation to other parents before she has a chance to spin the narrative. She 100% is going to gossip about you and paint you in the worst light possible."