I think my fiancé's niece is his child, I want a DNA test before marrying him

"The paternity of the child is irrelevant when your issue is a lack of trust," one commenter pointed out.

A troubled bride-to-be has sought the internet's advice after she started getting suspicions that her partner had a secret child - his 'niece'!

She wants to be sure either way before she ties the knot because honesty and transparency are essential when entering into something serious, like marriage. 

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A run-in with an ex led to a suspicious timeline

The story begins nine years ago when the couple met. However, things got sticky a few years later when her fiancé’s ex kept showing up at their house.

In the ex's defence, she was dating her fiancé’s brother (odd, but you do you) so that may have explained why she came over all the time. 

The poster told the Dear Abby forum, "We eventually had an argument because she was sticking her nose into our household. He moved out that night but we were able to repair our relationship and decided to live separately for a while."

Lovely! Now, where does the whole secret child part come in?

WELL! A month after he moved out, the OP found out his ex was pregnant...

She explained, "Her due date was nine months from when he moved out. He swears it's not his child and that it's his brother's. I have tried to let it go because I can't accuse him of lying just because of the timing of her pregnancy."

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He does things with her he doesn't do with his other nieces or nephews

She then says that she and her fiancé were engaged once before but she called it off because of this lingering issue. 

"He proposed to me again two years ago, and our wedding date is set for next year. I don't want to call it off again, although this is still bothering me. He knows I was hurt by an ex-boyfriend who cheated on me in the past, and I think he knows if I find out the truth, I will leave him," she shared.

She then added a very important detail to the story, that he, "treats the child like she's his own, not a niece."

He also "picks her up and takes her to the park and dinners" - something he apparently doesn't do for his other nieces or nephews.

Now, the woman wants to know, should she let it go? Or trust her gut...

"Do a DNA test"

The advice columnist, Abby, had some pretty frank advice for her. Get the man to do a DNA test - ASAP. 

Abby's logic is that even before the results come back, his reaction will "speak volumes."

"If he agrees, you will finally have the answers you are looking for. Do not go ahead with the wedding until you have that information," she urges. 

Down in the comments, people tended to agree.

Commenters say that the child isn't the issue, trust is

"Whether the kid is his or not, you clearly haven't trusted him for at least seven years (if I got the timeline right). Marrying him will not magically make you trust him-- NOR WILL MAKING A BABY," one person said. 

They added, "Call off the wedding and go your separate ways now before you wind up wallowing in resentment and self-pity 40 years later, with a therapy bill you can't afford."

Then a second replied, "Exactly. Even if the child isn't his, she still can't trust him. He, his brother, and the ex sound like a love triangle anyway. Why marry yourself to that mess?"

And a third pointed out, "I wonder if he even knows himself. Or the mother even knows for that matter!

Finally, someone concluded, "You've been together for nine years. In all that time, you have not been able to trust your fiancé fully. For that reason alone, you should not marry him ever.

"The paternity of the child is irrelevant when your issue is a lack of trust."

They also pointed out that it could be hard to get the ex-girlfriend to consent to giving her child's DNA away for testing just to 'calm your fears'.

"Asking this of a child and of your fiancé could result in the decision to end your relationship being made for you."

Originally published as I think my fiancé's niece is his child, I want a DNA test before marrying him