I shouldn't have to pay for your other kids to come to my child's party

"I’m so sick of parents bringing siblings and assuming they get to join the party for free and eat the food/cake."

It's an age-old debate - is it okay to bring your other kids to a party that their sibling has been invited to? 

However, a recent post in an advice forum has added another layer to the question.

If you do bring an extra kid/s - should you expect to pay for any extra costs to cover them at the party?

Let's get into the dilemma, where people from all sides weighed in. 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

RELATED: My friend wants to charge $30 to attend her gender reveal

"Is it appropriate to say she needs to pay for the extra child?"

Taking to the r/Parenting forum, the mum was left wondering what to do after an invitee's mum asked if she could bring along her toddler to her son's upcoming party. 

She says she's already footing the bill for other guest's siblings to come, but in this case - she doesn't know this other child so thinks the mum should pay...

"Hi all, my son's birthday is coming up and we've rented out a really cool play venue but it costs $30/kid, which obviously we are covering," she explains.

"However one of my son's school friends is invited but the mum is only able to bring her if she can also bring the friend's toddler brother."

She continues, "In that case, is it appropriate to say yes but that she needs to pay the $30 for the extra child?

"We're covering a few of the siblings that we personally know but I don't feel comfortable dishing out $30 for a sibling none of us has ever met. Thoughts?"

Image: IStock

RELATED: I threw away my stepdaughter’s birthday cake

"The party is for your son and his friends... not their siblings."

Part of the community rallied around the mum, saying she was totally in her right to ask for that.

"Very acceptable. Just say, 'I've already pre-paid for the kids invited. I have no problem with you bringing another kid but it will cost $30 to add them to the reservation. Can I send you my bank info?'" one person suggested.

Another wrote, "I reckon the parent is probably expecting that, so totally okay."

Then a third said: "The party is for your son and his friends… not their siblings. I’m so sick of parents bringing siblings and assuming they get to join the party for free and eat the food/cake.

"My oldest (9m) went to a party at a trampoline park. My youngest (6m) wanted to go as well. Since the place was open to the public, we brought him. We paid for his entry and during the cake/presents, I bought him a snack and kept him busy away from the party. He was aware that this was his big brother’s party but he still got to go and have fun."

"I've never considered it a big deal to pay $30 more"

On the other hand, this person said they wouldn't say anything - "I hate awkward conversations so if it's just one, I would just let them come and take care of it."

"Exactly, don't mention it, who knows, she might offer once you say yes," someone else agreed. 

"I wouldn't, my son's friend's parents take him places, feed him, pay admission and never ask for anything in return and we do the same," chimed in another mum. They added, "Whenever friends bring siblings to parties, never considered a big deal to pay 30 bucks more."

"It really depends on you and your budget. I would be fine paying with siblings because a) I can afford it and b) I wouldn't be able to take my child to most birthday parties if siblings weren't also invited," someone else concluded. 

Finally, someone else gave this balanced opinion, saying, "I personally wouldn’t but also wouldn’t be offended if someone asked me to pay for a sibling if that was the only way my child could attend. It does sound like she’s being open-minded and upfront by stating her child could only attend if it’s okay to bring a sibling.

"I’m sure she would be fine either way. Personally, I would pay the extra $30 for a sibling if I wasn’t limited on space. In the big picture, it’s creating goodwill."

Originally published as I shouldn't have to pay for your other kids to come to my child's party