'I couldn't fit in a public loo: everything's harder with two babies at once'

"I didn't even go to baby classes and meetups for new mums because they had a ‘no prams inside’ rule."

When I found out I was expecting two babies at once, I was so excited about the idea of double the fun and double the love.

 

 

And yes, watching my boys grow from babies to toddlers to teens has been incredible.

But raising twins comes with unique challenges - particularly access issues that start in pregnancy and don’t get any easier as they grow. 

The first time I realised twins came with access challenges was when I struggled to fit into a public toilet cubicle towards the end of my pregnancy.

My enormous twin bump meant I could barely squeeze in sideways to close the door.

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"So many places became off-limits"

Then came the logistical nightmare of having two newborns - two to feed, two to dress, two nappies to change, two crying babies to settle (usually at the same time).

Everything took more than twice as long and required far more effort than a single baby (I went on to have an easy singleton less than three years later, so I can compare the two experiences).

There were so many places we didn’t go and experiences we missed out on because of the extra challenges of having two babies at once.

I even chose not to attend a local childcare centre that hosted baby classes and meetups for new mums because they had a ‘no prams inside’ rule.

With two newborns and everything I needed to carry, that rule made attending impossible.

(I did try explaining how difficult it was, but they said they couldn’t make exceptions for me as it wouldn’t be fair on others!)

The access issues didn’t stop there.

Image: Karen and her twins navigating the world.

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"I remember the envy I felt"

Taking them swimming was a mission.

Singleton parents could manage getting changed while holding their baby or strapping them into a baby seat or changing mat, but with two, it was a mammoth task.

There weren’t always places to secure two babies.

Keeping them safe in the water required extra hands or, at the very least, inflatable water seats to even make it possible.

I remember the envy I felt watching other parents effortlessly splash with one baby while I wrestled two in and out of their tiny swim nappies.

Even prams came with their own access issues – and I tried a lot of different types!

Many shops were too small for a side-by-side buggy, and narrow checkout aisles were my worst nightmare.

More than once, I’d get outside to find one of the boys had grabbed something off a shelf while I was queuing up to pay, or something had hooked onto the side of the pram without me realising.

My heavy inline buggy had me struggling to get up and down kerbs (why aren’t there more pavement drops?!).

And because it was so long, I couldn’t even see the front!

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"Twin toddlers wasn't any easier"

Suddenly, I had two fearless little explorers running in opposite directions.

Library rhyme time, which I’d always loved, became a headache. While singleton mums could relax and sing along with a toddler on their lap, I was chasing after two little escape artists who preferred pulling books off the shelves rather than singing.

I could pick up one, but keeping both on my lap for more than a few minutes?

It just didn’t work. 

Then came school. 

Although they started in the same class, it wasn’t long before they were separated, which meant I had to decide who to drop off and who to collect first.

Parent-teacher interviews were tricky to schedule. When online bookings opened, I had to scramble to secure time slots close together to avoid waiting around for an hour between appointments.

Sometimes, one missed out altogether because I started with the other’s bookings first.

Image: Supplied

"The juggle is double"

As they got older, the challenges shifted from logistical to financial.

School fees weren’t just expensive - they were doubled. Ouch.

School camps, extracurriculars activities and trips all came with the same price tag, just multiplied by two.

While some families could stretch their budget for one child to go on an amazing school ski trip, we often had to say no because paying for two at once was too much.

There were no sibling discounts - just double the cost of their classmates.

Uniforms are another big expense - still. Many parents rely on hand-me-downs for younger siblings, but twins need two sets at the same time. And now, in high school that means two laptops at once as well.

Now we’re entering the next stage - learning to drive. For most families, the challenge is fitting in 100 hours of supervised driving practice.

With two, it’s a logistical nightmare. How do we divide our time and attention fairly?

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"Double the love and laughter"

Being a twin parent has been the most rewarding, exhausting, hilarious, fun and challenging experience of my life.

It’s a journey filled with double the love and laughter - but also double the obstacles.

As I look ahead to the next phases of their lives, I know one thing for sure - the access challenges won’t stop.

They’ll just keep evolving into something new.

But if raising twins has taught me anything, it’s that we’ll figure it out, one hurdle at a time.

Originally published as 'I couldn't fit in a public loo: everything's harder with two babies at once'