'He's being a douche': Husband accuses wife of 'excessively' feeding 11mo

"He won't sleep with us because he doesn’t like the sound of our baby nursing."

A new mum is furious after her husband accused her of “excessively” breastfeeding their baby. 

Writing in a parenting group, she explained that while her 11-month-old has moved to three solid meals a day, she’s still breastfeeding “on demand."

She adds, “I feed him throughout the night when he wakes up. My husband refuses to sleep with us and sleeps on the couch (which I’m totally fine with) because he doesn’t like the sound of my baby nursing.”

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RELATED: ‘Predator’: Young mum defends breastfeeding her 3yo in public

The mum, a nurse, explained that they had tried to wean the baby on a few occasions but it “required us getting up” when the baby was unsettled.

“I refused after two attempts because I can’t stand my baby being upset and he got so mad at me.”

She also published screenshots of text messages exchanged between them disagreeing on the baby’s feeding schedule. 

“He’s perfectly healthy - weight and height… my body is doing that for him and you're a jerk about it,” read one. 

He responded, “In my head, breastfeeding him every time he cries is excessive.” 

She then goes to the effort of sharing research supporting breastfeeding to educate him - see the screenshots below.

She concludes: "I feel he's being a douche about this."

Image: Reddit/iStock

RELATED: Mum breastfeeds baby to keep still for haircut

"You're a nurse and you're co-sleeping in an adult bed with your infant"

For context, the World Health Organisation recommends that babies should be exclusively breastfed on demand until six months of age. After that, they should be fed “safe and adequate complementary foods” and be breastfed until the age of two “and beyond”. 

Of course, breastfeeding can't happen for many reasons. Everyone also makes their own calls on when to wean their baby.

Better Health Victoria emphasises that weaning “is up to you and your baby to decide when the time is right.”

The internet wasn’t short of giving this mum some of their own thoughts. 

“I think it’s possible that your husband is just missing out on bonding with you, his wife, and thinks that enough is enough,” one person shared. 

“It’s so easy to forget that we have partners with needs too when we have kids, especially infants. They take up a lot of time, but I think that a compromise could be found for you and your husband.” 

The OP mum responded to this comment, saying she’d never thought of this perspective.

“I’m definitely going to talk to him about it more because I miss him too! I always ask him to come sleep in our bed and he never will.”

This person was more brutal: "You're a nurse and you're co-sleeping in an adult bed with your small infant. Are you going to skip vaccinations too?"

Then there was this pragmatic perspective:

"I've nursed three babies. Babies suck on pacifiers because it's calming. Are you the pacifier?

"The nursing all through the night isn't nutritional or we'd all be eating in our sleep.

"It's natural that your child will cry if you set a boundary that your breasts are for food (and sometimes comfort) but not to be used as pacifier. In my experience, I can tell you that changes to routine might mean a couple of days of protest behaviors (crying), 11 month olds are pretty resilient and adaptable."

For more information on parenting and breastfeeding, see the Raising Children Network.

Originally published as 'He's being a douche': Husband accuses wife of 'excessively' feeding 11mo