Excuse me but when did Valentine’s Day in primary school become a thing?

"I've heard of a teacher who creates a mailbox for her classroom so students can post Valentine’s Day cards to each other - in Year 5!"

Ummm, excuse me but when did Valentine’s Day in primary school become a thing?

Despite being happily married and a big supporter of rom-coms, I've never been big on Valentine’s Day.

Because of this, my husband and I don’t celebrate it and if we do, it’s usually a pretty half-arsed attempt at something vaguely romantic, AKA a card (so no, not really romantic at all). Despite my indifferent attitude about the ‘most romantic day of the year’ it appears that kids, primary school-aged kids at that, don’t share this view.

Much to my confusion, they are really into the totally unnecessary day... even though they're in primary school.

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"How old are these kids?"

You see, my daughters who are both primary school-aged, informed me that Valentine’s Day is a big deal, and that kids talk about it days, even weeks out from the occasion. There is talk about who likes who, and who will be whose Valentine.

When I was informed of this, well I was convinced my leg was being pulled because my days at primary school involved avoiding any type of discussion about boyfriends and girlfriends let alone actually being actively involved in it. I mean, how old are these kids?

Well, they are at their oldest 12 and WTAF?!

But it’s not just chatter on the playground, it's way more extravagant than that. I am talking about kids giving their romantic interest cards or writing them notes and even gifting them some pretty epic presents- giant teddy bears and expensive chocolates.

One friend of mine told me that last year her daughter’s friend in Grade 5 received a silver bracelet from an actual jewellery store. Yes. A silver bracelet from a jewellery store.

Another told me that their child’s teacher actually creates a mailbox for her classroom so students can post Valentine’s Day cards or notes to their respective Valentine - and that's in Grade 5!

It's a not to Valentine's Day at school from Shona. Source: supplied.

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"A nasty note about why no one would choose them"

While on the surface some of these initiatives might sound sweet, like all things that occur between school cohorts, who receives Valentine’s Day gifts and who doesn’t is very much synonymous with who is deemed popular and who isn’t. This means there are a lot of kids left feeling quite down on themselves come February 14th.

One friend of mine, whose child’s school really got into Valentine’s Day, said that for a couple of kids in her year level, the day was so bad they were left in tears, all because they didn’t receive a Valentine’s Day message. Or they did, but it wasn’t a letter of love, rather a nasty note about why no one would choose them. 

If you ask me, this is definitely not what a day of love should be about.

If anything, the commercialised celebration that Valentine’s Day has become should be banned from Australian schools, primary schools at the bare minimum because there really is no benefit, there is no point, it is completely irrelevant because the odds of any of these romantic interests actually making it, even to the end of the week, well the odds are low.

But also, and perhaps more to the point, how are these kids affording such grandiose gifts?

Well, I’ll tell you how, it’s most definitely not from their savings account, but rather from their parents. And with this, my second question is, why are parents participating in this? I mean save your money for something else, anything else really.

Perhaps my disdain for this day is due to my own past Valentine’s Day trauma, where at high school, year after year my best friend would receive gifts each Valentine’s Day, while I received none (but if I was lucky, I got to hold one of the items she was gifted because she couldn’t manage alone).

So, yes, I am jaded; but I have experienced romance since, and I do appreciate it now but only when it is shown genuinely and respectfully – two things that can't be quite executed by 10-year-olds.

But if banning a day of love seems too extreme and the day is a ‘must-celebrate’ on the school calendar, make it one about the love and respect for the whole school community- about friendship, about caring for one another, about building supportive relationships and kindness where the emphasis isn’t on gifts or items but in actions that are inclusive of everyone.

That’s the love kids need.

Originally published as Excuse me but when did Valentine’s Day in primary school become a thing?