Dr Justin Coulson: Why giving your teenagers alcohol will actually do them more harm than good

PARENTS who give their teenagers alcohol thinking they are doing the right thing by exposing them to it in a safe environment might actually be setting their children up to be drinkers. Leading parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson explains.

MANY parents believe they are doing the right thing by giving their teens alcohol.

And it does make some sense.

Serving alcohol to our children in our homes is completely logical from our “grown-up” perspective.

We think if we administer alcohol in a safe, controlled environment, our kids will learn to drink responsibly.

We hope by serving alcohol in a “responsible” manner we minimise the likelihood our children will go crazy, get sloshed and be harmed through accident, injury, violence, risky sexual behaviour or alcohol poisoning.

Parents who give their teenage children alcohol are doing them more harm than good.

If that is how you feel, you are pretty normal. Many parents would agree with you.

It is also possible you are one of the lucky ones.

Perhaps your parents served you alcohol as a teen and you responded responsibly.

As a result, you feel as though mum and dad did the right thing by you, and you want to pass that on.

However, research from the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre (NDARC) at the University of NSW turns that thinking on its head.

The study followed nearly 2000 Australian adolescents from age 12-16 (and their parents) and found teens whose parents supply alcohol in early adolescence are three times as likely to be drinking full serves of alcohol at age 16 as children in families that do not supply alcohol.

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At ages 12 and 13, close to one in six children in the study reported being given alcohol by their parents.

By 15 and 16 years of age more than a third of the sample was being supplied alcohol by their parents.

Of these, 15 per cent were drinking full serves compared with only 1.5 per cent of the younger children.

The single greatest predictor of drinking in Year 10 was parental supply of alcohol in Years 7-9.

And data has consistently shown parents are the most likely source of alcohol for under-age drinkers.

The earlier children begin drinking, the more they drink, says leading parenting writer Dr Justin Coulson.

Adolescent drinking is associated with a range of issues in later life.

The earlier children begin drinking, the more they drink, and the greater the risk of them drinking at unsafe levels.

They are also at increased risk of violence, accidents, injury, self-harm, sexual harm and disease (among other things).

And there’s the tremendous risk to the developing brain.

Alcohol consumption in adolescence increases the risk of impaired brain function, including decision-making capacity.

Some parents are resigned to the fact their kids will want to drink, so they give them one or two and suggest they sit on it all night.

The idea is they won’t get hassled if there’s a drink in their hand.

Others argue, “They’re essentially young adults. By Year 10, it’s practically an expectation that they take some grog along to school parties.”

What message are we sending to our kids? Popularity trumps safety, the law and moral courage?

Parents might be interested to know teenage drinking is on the decline.

Our children are increasingly saying they don’t want to drink.

Statistics show that teenage drinking is on the decline.

The data in the NDARC study corresponds with other recent research showing only about 50 per cent of 15- to 16 year-olds children are drinking.

That’s a big drop over the past decade, and it needs to continue. But it is up to us, as parents, to recognise the harm of adolescent drinking.

But while this data tells us providing kids with alcohol leads to increased consumption, it is uber important we don’t come down hard on our children.

If we do, we actually increase the risk they’ll do something foolish and go behind our backs.

Our approach, instead, needs to be based on setting clear limits, using lots of understanding and joint problem solving and minimising our controlling strategies to bring about the best outcomes.

DR JUSTIN’S TOP TIPS

1. Set your standard

Have hard conversations, and set expectations firmly but gently.

2. See their perspective

Ask your children what they see as the best alternative.

3. Be an example

Be a model of appropriate alcohol consumption.

4. Turn off the tap

Don’t offer your children alcohol, ever, if they are under 18 years.