How to help a hoarder declutter their home

This game changing strategy can help a hoarder break their habit for good – and it doesn’t involve hiring a skip bin.

Helping a hoarder declutter can be an overwhelming process.

Tidying a home that is packed to the brim with stuff can be extremely overwhelming – not to mention hazardous.

So when the person living there is a loved one who can’t part with any of their possessions – even rubbish – it can be tempting to think a trusty skip bin is the best way forward.

But just as you wouldn’t help a person who fears dogs by locking them in a room with a rottweiler, helping a hoarder declutter in order to sell their home or improve their living standards is better achieved in small steps, not massive clean outs, says author and psychologist Dr Amy Silver.

When hoarding impacts quality of life it can be a problem.

Why do people hoard?

While you may see your loved one’s hoarding as a problem, Dr Silver says that the process of hoarding is usually thought of as a “solution” by the person doing it.

“It’s a way of coping,” she says.

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The triggers vary, but the hoarding habit often starts as a way to manage fear – particularly fear of loss.

When the need to keep everything starts impacting quality of life, it’s then better categorised as a compulsion, Dr Silver says.

Dr Amy Silver.

Compassion is key

Seeing past the practical problem is hard, but immense emotions are involved in hoarding.

“It’s a really painful place,” Dr Silver says.

“The shame, the guilt, the sadness and the fear are all just so big.”

For Jenni and her family in episode five of Foxtel’s Selling Houses Australia, this meant being unable to sell their house.

“It was just heartbreaking,” the show’s design expert Wendy Moore says.

“Part of her inability to move on and sell is that she couldn’t bring herself to allow people to come into the home because she knew how it looked.”

“A number of times I just had to stop and have a bit of a cry – you just felt her pain.”

Selling Houses Australia interior design guru Wendy Moore. Picture: Foxtel.

Reset expectations

It is unrealistic to think that you can come in and “sort out” your loved one’s hoarding for them, says Dr Silver.

“For the individual who is suffering, they actually need really, really, tiny goals,” she says.

“It’s less about coming in with a plan to attack everything and more about thinking of it in a graded, hierarchical way.”

Language plays a major part.

Rather than say ‘I’m coming round Saturday and we’re going to get rid of the stuff you don’t need’, consider using phrases like, ‘How about we look at your books and think about which ones you want on a shelf, which you want in a box’ and so on.

Breaking a hoarding habit is better done in small steps.

Don’t do it alone

If a loved one’s hoarding has put them at risk of fire or injury, it’s important to call in an expert, says Dr Silver.

A GP can refer you to a psychologist or you could try a company that specialises in helping hoarders.

“The best thing is to seek guidance,” Dr Silver says. “It’s not something you can do on your own – it’s too much responsibility.”

A storage facility could be a good temporary solution.

Moore says counselling was provided for Jenni during filming.

“I think it was a real turning point for her,” Moore says. “I’m not sure that she’s ready to make that massive big step of selling and moving on, but I think what we’ve done is created a space for her to get ready for that.”

This hoarder house sold above expectation thanks to its “hidden treasures.”

Turning your trash into easy cash

If you are in a position where you need to sell a hoarder house, sometimes the act of clearing it out can actually take away from its value, says real estate agent Ian Clarke.

He sold a hoarder house in Townsville that was packed to the brim with antiques, including old cash registers, kerosene lamps and sports memorabilia preserved in its original packaging.

The house was in poor condition.

A clever marketing strategy alluding to the treasures that might be found led to a heated auction in front of a crowd of hundreds before the property sold more than $100,000 over many buyers’ expectations.

Townsville real estate agent and auctioneer Ian Clarke.

“I took a few different photos of the right things and it just happened to capture the imagination,” Clarke says. “In Townsville, in my 30 years of real estate, that would have been the single most popular property ever.”

He says had they cleared the property before listing they would have struggled to sell due to the poor condition of the home.

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