Dementia at only 57: How my husband finishing my sentences led to my diagnosis

It wasn’t until a friend mentioned to Pam Eade that her husband was often finishing sentences for her that she found out she had dementia.

I was diagnosed with younger onset dementia in 2021 at the age of 57.

More specifically, the type of dementia I have is primary progressive aphasia, which I had never heard of before.

This is a rarer form of dementia which affects understanding and articulating spoken language, so I am using my voice as much as possible while I can.

My husband, Brian, would often finish my sentences for me. It wasn’t until a friend mentioned this, I realised it was because I couldn’t always find the words myself, which led me to getting a diagnosis.

My progression has been slow, which has allowed me to explore all my options and get my affairs in order.

Soon after I was diagnosed, I got what I call my active dying plan together.

It was important to me to get my affairs in order to help my loved ones around me who will ultimately be my carers at the end.

I don’t want them to worry about any of those things that need to be done.

I am fortunate that my best friend is a nurse, so we sat down together and sorted out my advance care plan.

Pam Eade was diagnosed with dementia aged just 57.

This essentially formalised all my values, preferences and direction in relation to future healthcare and treatments.

I really recommend everyone getting this done, whether a dementia diagnosis or not.

Now I’m not saying that everyone needs to organise their own casket, however I do have mine in my spare room!

Pam's cushion in her casket. Every time she looks at the casket, it makes her smile as she gets comfort knowing that’s where she’ll end up after dying.

A family member works as a scrap metal merchant and found a huge new casket with a dented lid.

My nephew is a panel beater and he repaired the lid and painted it blue. It’s now done up exactly how I wanted it.

It’s lined with beautiful royal blue velour and the handles are painted red as homage to Brian who is a massive Melbourne football club supporter.

This is Pam's casket which has a lot of personal touches.

The casket now sits in my spare room and is covered by a royal red blanket.

When I look at it, it makes me smile. I know this might sound strange but knowing it’s there and what I am going to be in makes me happy.

Pam Eade with her husband Brian, who often has to finish her sentences.

I’m glad that I got my affairs in order as I am now on my active living plan, and I refer to it as my adventure with dementia, and it’s exactly that.

I am living well with dementia and enjoy each day in ways that I may have taken for granted before my diagnosis.

I enjoy the beauty that I’m surrounded by. Before I knew I lived in a lovely place but now I think – wow!

I feel lucky that I was diagnosed early to enable me to do this.

If I could give one piece of advice to anyone going through the same thing, it would be to try not let the process take control of you.

It might seem overwhelming but take things one step at a time.

Just because we’ve been diagnosed with dementia doesn’t mean we should be locked away and forgotten.

Look at what makes you happy and allow yourself to be happy.

Originally published as Dementia at only 57: How my husband finishing my sentences led to my diagnosis